I was standing up front teaching about advertizing when I brushed my chest pocket in my shirt. Odd, I thought, I took out the folded up paper in my pocket mid sentence and tossed it on the podium in front of me. Then the sentence stopped as I realized it was 5 yuan (Chinese 5 bucks). How did that get there? I thought. Oh! G gave it to me. Awesome. Ok, so what do you want me to do with it? I asked.
Later that afternoon I went into the city center to visit another teacher and passed a woman on her knees with a metal bowl in front of her. A beggar. Instantly, I remembered the 5 yuan I had in my pocket. Oh, that's what it's for! Got it. So I pulled out the 5 yuan and dropped it in her bowl and in my poor Chinese tried to say "J loves you."
After lunch and getting coffee and talking and sharing what the Father had been teaching me with me we began our walk back. I began to try to explain how the Father gives radical gifts like gold dust, hair growth, healings, and money and such. 5 steps after explaining the 5 yuan He had given me earlier I bent down to pick up a flower. It appeared to have fallen out of an arrangement. Sweet. A flower. What do I do with this? Who do you want me to give it to? I asked again. "Maybe you can give it to that lady" my fellow teacher suggested. Good call, I thought. As I walked back I saw the lady still on the sidewalk, still on her knees, with her metal bowl infront of her staring at the ground still. I walked up and laid the flower in between her and the bowl and tried to compassionately whisper "J loves you" in Chinese. "How cool is G?" I thought. "That He loves her enough and thinks she's special enough to give me money and a flower to give to her. Who else does that? No one's ever thought she's special enough to give her a flower, but the Father is. The Father gave a flower in front of me and then told me to pass it on . " I continued to think about her and had "what can I do" on my mind? I realized how frustrated I was with my proud I gave 5 yuan. What can you do with 5 yuan? Like 3 bucks? what can you do with that? You can't really get a good meal. How much more do I spend on useless stuff? What does she need besides money? food? As the wind whipped across my face, I remembered how frigidly cold it was. She laid bundled up with a jacket and hat. Gloves! It hit me gloves! I had gloves I could give her. I walked back took off my gloves and laid them in front of her attempting to express His love.
Fast forward two weeks and I'm leaving a supermarket near our school at near 10 pm. All the other stores are empty and have closed up along the street. It's down an alley of sorts and as I exit the store and turn to take a picture of the overly large Santa Clauses standing out front I hear the rustling of trash. Oh no. My heart dropped and that awkward feeling came across me before I ever looked down the street. It was true. There barely lit by extravagant Christmas lights was a man dumping out the trash and going through it. It shouldn't be like this. It should have never gotten to this point. This is not the way You created it to be. Near tears welled up in my eyes. What do I do? Give him money? Is that an insult? Will he refuse? Is that what he needs? I started to walk by letting the awkward getting the best of me and letting my heart break confused about what to do. Then He showed me I had a drink in my hand. I had just bought something to drink as I walked out the door. Thankfully, I can ask simple phrases such as "yao bu yao?" (do you want?). He thanked me and I tried to express His love. The passage "giving even a cup of water in my name will not lose it's reward" came into my head but I don't care about a reward - I mean later I will want it to give to him, but now... I just want things to be the way they should be. Going through trash should never be an option. This is now how He created it to be. This is not what the plan ever was supposed to be.
So I came to the conclusion that I love J, and I hate the world without Him. If J had His way and fully reigned in every life and heart there would be no trash pickers and no beggars.
I passed our beloved lady again today. It was -15 degrees outside. I was with one of the language students (teachers studying Chinese full time) who talked to her. She had talked to her before and found out that she is Loved and Loves back. She's a Sister. She has a family...somewhere and some how (language barrier still in the way) and she had eaten today. Please join me in Asking that the Father lavish His love on her through warmth, food, perhaps a job, closer family, and even more random flowers. Let His Kingdom come now because this one just isn't turning out too well.
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