Ammendment to "Sometimes I forget..."

Sometimes I don't forget...
I just haven't realized yet.

I haven't realized how dirty and messy and screwed up I am.
The more I see Him and try to follow Him the more He has to root out and detoxify me from.
I wonder... what the crap?
How long has this been in there?
Oh... it's always been in there.
Man, I suck. Why are you still putting up with me?

It's not why He's still putting up with me.
It's that He's always known it and still chose me.
It's just that now, He's showing me what's inside as He takes it out.
So really, to us we're getting dirtier and messier.
To Him, we're getting cleaner and cleaner.
The more junk we see and are getting out of our life,
is the more He has the ability to love and know us.
That's why we rejoice - not because we're jacked up -
but because we used to be really really jacked up, He chose us,
Now we're less jacked up.
Later we're going to be even less jacked up.
We think we're dirtier and dirtier going
"oh my... do you even know what's in me? Do you know how awful I am?"
He just kind of chuckles and says "Whew, you're so much better than before."
We look at Him with confusion.
He responds, "What? I knew what I was getting into. I still love you just as much."

It's odd to think He saw us in our complete filth (which we have yet to see thanks to His mercy) and simultaneously saw us seated with the Son in complete restoration and perfection.

It's not like He bought a half way decent old car to restore it without really checking it out, then got it home and the more He works on it the more issues He finds with it. No, He's a master mechanic. He looked at this rusted scrap bucket that was originally created to be beautiful, looked it over really really well, took note of every scratch, dent, rust spot, missing O-ring, sticky valve, mis-wired electronics, missing fuses stepped back, saw what it was going to be one day and said, "I gotta have it. I'll give anything." I'm the kind of guy who finds problems as we go along and am like "dang it. I'm too invested and too stubborn now to quit." But He just laughs at me and says "yeah, I knew all of that before we started. I think you thought this was going to be easier than it was." "Yeah, I did." as I whipe my brow and sit back for a moments rest. And He responds with a little chuckle, then smiles, grabs a wrench and reaches back in to keep working.

He's got a lot of foresight.
That's why His love never fails or gives up. Because He already knew how bad we were and how awful things were going to be and He still decided to initiate and start the process with us. And He is faithful to finish. He's not one of those guys who starts lots of things and finishes none. He starts lots of things and finishes every last one of them to the T.

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