QQ Status

Chinese people use QQ. QQ is an instant messaging program on steroids. It's created by Chinese people and EVERYONE uses it. They dont do email, they use QQ. Everyone, everyone's mom, everyone's grandma, and probably their 6 year old little cousin uses it too. (No joke or exaggeration.) In the office each computer has someone's QQ logged in and they will chat on it as well as send important official documents as we would use email.  (Anyways, this is a snippet of Chinese culture.)

Last night, I got on QQ to talk to a student when I saw one of our guys from our study online. He mentioned earlier in our study that when he puts something about Believing in his status his parents will criticize him and tell him not to take it to seriously - that it will distract him from his study. One of the other guys laughed because his parents did the same thing. He gave him some advice "write it in English...your parent's won't be able to follow along." The whole group laughed - but you kind of see the problem. So last night I checked his status and was filled with joy as I read his message (after translating it with google translate).

"让我明白一生只为见证与荣耀" – "I understand that life is only to witness and honor."

How legit is that? This is what I'm talking about. I know he is completely sincere too. It's so cool to see his growth. You know it's not a nice or polite thing he says just to get attention because well... people don't do that here with this stuff. It's not something that people will pat you on the back for like in the States and say you're a good kid. I'm super proud of him and so thankful to see the Spirits work. Thanks for letting me see this. It makes it easier to leave knowing you've got things taken care of. 

Can Soap Change a Nation?

I had the awesome priveldge tonight of doing something that changed many lives.

As we've been drawing our study to a close these last two weeks, tonight we wanted to go out like the J-man went out. We went through some passages of promises He made and the call He gave to us, and discussed their heart and questions. Questions burning inside about those in rural China who have never heard the story. "Maybe you should go?" Josh asked. Then we asked one of the guys if he would read John 13...in Chinese. He flipped to the page and said "are you really...?" and the three of us walked outside.

We came back in with a tub of warm water, a bar of soap, and a towel. One by one we were able to get down on the floor and wash the feet of the men we've been walking along side for the past year. These are the guys we've seen each week in our study. These are the guys we've been meeting with at least one other time to talk about life and the Word and junk going on. I couldn't help but smile as I washed "Mr. President"'s feet. I was just filled with joy as a tear ran down my cheek.

 

Two of the four continued to wipe tears from their eyes as we washed their feet. It was as if J himself were doing it. They were so touched, so moved, so undone. I just watched in amazement of the reality I was seeing. I had the unmistakable passage rushing through my head "How can hear unless someone goes? How beautiful are the feet that bring good news." I think it was specific for them. It was a glimpse of what He was doing. We were commissioning. As He commissioned the 12, so we were now sending them out. One is going to France for the next few years to study and go to school, one will work with underprivileged teens this summer, one volunteers now at a Family coffee shop, and one confessed he wanted to share more, but didn't know what to say so He was going to spend the summer getting to know the Book and the Father more. I am so proud of them. We read it over them then lifted them up and sent them out. (Literally, their dorm closed at 9:40 and they left my apartment at 9:43.) 

As they left, one turned and said, "I'll never forget this night..." and I think neither will I. The course of China will be changed by these men, and I am proud to get to know them and serve them. Thank you for being part of what's going on here. 

 

Americans Eat Meat.

Today is Wednesday. We found out this afternoon that our train to take us to Beijing from our city, Changchun, is going to leave on next Friday night instead of Saturday. Oh crap...that changes alot of things. I thought that was bad until I got the next message. 3 minutes later, I got a text saying that we need to send our luggage ahead of us. It should be in our FAO's (foreign affair officer) office by 8 am Monday morning. Basically, that means instead of having the planned week and some to finish packing and grading - we have half a week. I hadn't started packing yet. So our grades are supposed to be done by Tuesday-ish. All of our luggage (aka apartments) should be packed up by Monday. Not to mention the fact that we've pretty much already booked every meal time with students and a few extra times in between as well. It's going to be a very busy next few days. Thoughts are highly requested.

As we transition, we begin to think about changing our diet back to the American way. Eating more dairy is on the top of the list. We also have told our students that "No, we don't eat rice every meal. We actually dont usually eat rice. We eat some sort of bread, meat, and maybe a form of potato."  We eat big pieces of meat - here they eat slices or slivers of meat. That being said, I'll introduce the following question.

Tannah teaches "Survey of English Speaking Countries" aka "Western Culture/History." For her last class before their final test she was going to answer some of their questions. She had the students write down any question they wanted to know about and she picked the main/common ones and taught about them again. As she read through them, I got a text in my office reading "Do you have your camera?" I didn't know what was going to happen until she came in and put this down in front of me.

I'd like to mention the fact that this is one of the students that I dont teach. haha. This is an awesome question though. Thanks for asking. We Americans do like our meat. Mmm Mmmm Beef.

The Battle Within

This is just a quote from a devo I've been doing and some thoughts the Father gave afterwards. It was talking about those who are poor in spirit.

"A castle that has been long besieged and is ready to be taken will
deliver up on any terms to save their lives. He whose heart has been a
garrison for the devil and has held out long in opposition against
Chr---t, when once The Father has brought him to poverty of spirit and
he sees himself damned without Chr---t, let The Father propound what
articles He may, he will readily subscribe to them. 'Lord, what will
you have me to do?'" (Thomas Watson).

I think we often don’t see our hearts as a stronghold for the devil. We see them as basically good or ok – as we check ourselves by our moral standards or the culture around us. We don’t understand why we have to be broken so much or lose so many things if we’re “doing pretty good”. We consider G to be slightly mean and cruel because He keeps attacking and tearing down our hearts that were doing ok. He starves out enemies that are in us that are hiding that we don’t know about. He besieges our whole being to put us in shock and to search our inner being and inner walls. Sometimes with our search but often by just pure emptiness we find the enemy inside. The secluded enemy/lie/habit that is with us surges from the darkness in fear and anger as its being starved for attention and it's way of life has been cut off. It crawls out snarling ready to fight and at that point we turn and realize what’s been inside this whole time (or maybe we already knew) but now with our realization of our weakness we surrender it to the Father. Then, He moves with His mighty Word to demolish all that is not of Him. A scepter of righteousness, light, and strength to dominate every form of evil so that life and love may full live abundantly. The one who "has it together" (is insecure/hiding/or unaware of what could be inside) is the one who needs to be besieged to recognize all that's within. But it's the poor in spirit, the one who acknowledge there probably are things hiding inside that need taken care of that He can rule in. Let us be that poor that He might rule in majesty.

For my name's sake... (future plans)

Have you ever prayed so emphatically but accidentally. Well, in case you haven't, I have. To be more specific we should probably use the phrase "ignorantly" rather than accidentally.

It's June 6, I leave my city in 17 days - two and a half weeks. "what are you doing next year?" people ask as I excitedly get to tell them "I'm going to go study the Book! I want to learn more about Yesu." oh, where are you going?" haha...well...I don't know yet. It's the beginning of May so I'm still ok but pressed a bit. Wait, no it's beginning of June. I'm used to finishing college in May not June (for students it's July- we leave early). So it's even more of a crunch.

Am I worried? Yes. Do I feel immature? Yes. Do I feel irresponsible? Yes. Do I have cold sores in my mouth to prove it? Yes, multiple ones for multiple weeks. Have I looked at schools? Yes. Have I found the right one? No. Does that bother me? Yes. Am I going home in about two weeks? Yes. Shouldn't I know by now? I would think so. Is it to late to apply? I hope not (some schools it is, others it's not). What happens if it's too late for this semester? I have no idea - I'm expecting it to be. So, when will you know? I dont know! I thought a month or so at least! I know this doesn't seem like that big of deal when it's not your life - but seeing how it's mine, it's a big deal to me. I feel isolated, unable to process, and feel like I'm behind, always behind on everything.

As I began explaining things and processing them out with a teammate a few nights ago (a.k.a. verbally vomiting all my unprocessed junk from the past few months) we struck gold... or at least the cause of it all. Back to the original paragraph. Gen 12:1-4 "The Lord said to Abram, "leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you...So Abram left, as the Lord had told him..."  Maybe that didn't strike you as interesting, but I was amazed by that. He told him to go to a place he had no idea where, but just pack up all he had and go... Abram didn't even get a direction to start heading in. But his response was, "So Abram left." Man, I want to be like that. Make me like that. I want to just go when you say go. 

There it was. That was it. Started in high school when I first read that. I had no intentions of actually leaving the country. I didn't even mean it, really. I mean I did, but I had no idea what I was thinking. Since then He's been growing my trust in Him. In high school I found out in January that I was going to Concord in August (7 months to prepare, adapt, adjust, plan.). At the end of Concord University my time was getting close and I found out in April I was coming to China (4 months to prepare, adapt, adjust, plan, support raise, transition.) Now that I'm in China my time is coming to an end (2 weeks) and I believe I'll be starting school in August (2 months to transition, apply, get accepted, find housing, place to stay, etc.)  I never thought about packing up all my stuff into my car and driving into a new town to go to college without a place to stay for the night or semester. Essentially, that's what Abraham (Abram) did. Except he had his family too... and a ton of livestock and servants to go with him. Yet, he trusted Him to provide. No wonder he's credited with so much faith!

I find myself (a simpler, modern day Abram) being transformed into the King by way of Abraham the one who walked by Faith even when He didn't know and it wasn't practical or logical or even wise. At the end of  our conversation my teammate stopped me when I said, "I just feel so immature and irresponsible, like I dont have my life together and I'm a slacker." She responded, "You're waiting on G to provide you the college He wants you to go to, while loving and serving Him where you are, and searching when you can and he tells you to and you feel like you're lives not together and your irresponsible?" I had to think about it for a min before I caught what she was saying.

It's good to be "responsible" but you can't argue with being Bookical. We walk by faith and not by sight, plans, wisdom, or hopefully college application deadlines and fees. I want to see the Book stories come to life now. I said one and many times again expecting glory not necessarily myself to be waiting and trusting so much. I'm glad I said it, and I'm glad He trusts Him more than I do. I dont want to be behind, but I will wait for as long as possible - (but I'd like to know where and when pretty soon.) So I guess even more now, I'm being made into my name's sake... I want to be more like that, by His grace and His fruit in me, I will be...

"Abram believed G and it was credited to him as righteousness." - Romans 4:3

"I've got a good testimony..."

That's how our boy G started the conversation as he sat down in our weekly guys study.

"I've got a good testimony..." 

Ok. Sweet. I thought. Maybe he got to share with a classmate or something?

 "This morning, I was Talking to the Father and thinking. I have been a Believer for already one and a half years now... and I have never discipled anyone. One and a half years! I should have been disciplining someone by now. I mean one and half a years. No one! So I started to Ask for it." 

I dont remember the rest of the story, but it involved a classmate wanting "inner peace" as she struggled with some times in her life and has been looking into being a Believer for that. She "has so many people around her who are believers" (aka 4 people, which in G's mind is sooo many.) She wanted to go to the fellowship and asked if they would have like a celebration or something for her if she became one. "Probably not" he answered, "but if you want to, I can show you how?"

The next thing I know G and Tannah (her old teacher and my teammate) were eating dinner with her and they explained "the basic things about J came, died, came back to life again, the Father made everything, and we can follow Him to go heaven." She liked it, believed it, accepted it and is now a sister! Tan had an extra book to give her and G was smiling from ear to ear. "It's so cool that He hears me and answers like that."

Awesome things that 1) He's been a believer for a year and a half and he's bothered he hasn't discipled anyone yet. I know hundreds of people who are Believers who have never discipled anyone and they've been in for years. 2) We have a new sister! She now knows hope, love, peace, joy, faithfulness, contentment, etc. 3) That G is pursuing to share his story more. 4) His perspective is Bookical - "He hears me!" was his greatest joy. (Lk10:20)  5) Two more weeks and He's not done yet!

Single & Satisfied?

Hi. My name is Abram and I'm single.

I'll be honest, for most of my life I've struggled with this. I've always wanted a girlfriend. It started out because having a girlfriend was cool in junior high school and in high school it proved you weren't a loser (so I thought). In college, I began to realize a difference idea towards dating that it should be more for a future spouse. Then I felt like I needed a girlfriend to prove that I was mature and growing up. I looked at society and what they say is mature and that meant - having a job, paying your own bills, having your own place, taking care of yourself, settling down, getting a job, house, wife, etc.

I did the anti-"growing up" thing and moved back in with my  parents for a few months while transitioning to come to China. I "have a job" that I have to raise support for (which makes me feel like I'm a kid that I need others to take care of me), I have temporary housing that was set up and provided for me (because I'm a guest/worker for a company/can't speak or talk in Chinese), I can't do most things by myself and always have to ask for help (because I can't speak Chinese), and as far as getting a wife...I made a promise not to date for a year and moved to the other side of the planet where the options were much slimmer even if I did want to.

I'm so glad I did. In relationship realm, I have learned that most of my life this issue has been stuck in not being content and affirmed by what the Father says about me. I've wanted a girl to tell me all the things that He should be. "Wow, you're great. You're awesome. I'm glad you're mine. I'm so proud of you. I love you. I'm not letting go. I'll always be here. I want to show you off. I want to sit and talk for ever. I want to be showered by your love. You're mine." It's someone to come home to at the end of the day and share life with. Someone to encourage when they're down. Someone to think of little surprises and ways to love them throughout their day. Someone to text about how class went or to make sure they made it when traveling safely. I realize these are all good things coming from the right person, and many of them we've worked through and learned how to take responsibility, what a relationship is actually supposed to look like, and learning to pursue a woman for her growth not your pleasure, but still have more to work through and some I don't even know yet, but that's okay.

This year in the process, I learned a few things that was encouragement for me. To save time, we'll put it this way. Many times I feel like G just puts ideas in my head that I dont really think about. Many times they're ways to encourage our Sisters. This semester the girls had a slumber party so as the guys we got together, dressed up, and took them flowers with a poem we wrote them. Some guys were tracking along, some guys had never heard of this idea before. One of the guys is engaged, so they expected something kind of like that from him - but it was an encouragement to them and perhaps to the other guys of how to step it up and as a single guy this is what we can be doing in the waiting. If I was interested in one of the girls it would have been tainted motivation. If I was dating someone it would have been ruled out, but just plain Fatherly affection flowing to our sisters gave the girls hope in the character or guys and a challenge to the guys of what we can do be doing as singles. (This is not a boasting time, this is because other guys have shown this to me, my parents raised me well, and G's wants to love people better than I can think.)

Essentially, the point is similar to singing. I want to be able to sing well. I want to sing loud to Him and for Him. I want to be able to sing for my wife. For a long time, I didn't sing out in w.ship because I could hear myself and it was embarrassing. When all the people who can sing and singing beside you it makes you super aware of how bad you're singing is. Lately, He's shared with me that even though I can't sing well, when I sing out to Him it gives others the freedom to openly express themselves no matter how good or bad it sounds.  - As with dating, I might not be there yet but going full force shows others what it means to go full force. Even though I would rather have a girlfriend/singing abilities, He wants me to use what I have now and in my lacking it shows that you don't need "everything" to serve and love well. When you go/serve/love/step out in your imperfection it challenges and encourages others to do the same and not wait until everything's in tune to go.

So at times the point I make and still struggle saying everyday is "if my singleness/rough singing will encourage other women in their hope for men, other men to step it up, and both to sing out to you no matter how it sounds, I'll be single and sing bad for the rest of my life." It'd be really cool if I could, but if not, I want to be used to encourage others along the way.

(I share all of this in case your single and frustrated or lonely...and "waiting patiently" but still antsy. Just wanted to encourage you that you're not the only one, but here's some encouragement that the Father has shown me that I know He can and wants to do in your life too.)