Warmly Welcome to Hua Qiao

To the future teachers of Jilin Hua Qiao Foreign Language Institute: Warmly Welcome.

Here's a video my team and I made for the future teachers to give them a glimpse of what life on campus...in China is like. It also shows off our team in their "finest." haha. I'm glad to get to share with you a little more of life here in China, my team, and my school

Warmly Welcome to HuaQiao from HuaQiao CTF on Vimeo.

P.S. Shorts are on. It's a camera angle trick.

Increasing Voices

Now that I'm back in the States - full of big people, sweet delicerous smells, and the ability to say fun words that start with the letter M. I'm trying to fully readjust and take in everything and figure out what's different and how things happen. One thing I noticed was the closer we got back to America the more voices that seemed to add and get louder. I journaled on it and I'll just pass that on now:

I feel as if in America we have so many voices telling us so many things. Often very subtly. But so many soft mumbling voices can easily block the voice of God from coming through.

Especially when we’re not looking for Him as heavily or as devotedly.

I think we think that there are many unbiased facts that we just take in throughout the day, none of which are completely unbiased. Either they themselves have a slant or our attitude towards them has a slant.

VOICES

TV:
I didn’t realize how much the news had in it until I was away from it for a year (living in china) and coming back I heard it new all over again. I also taught English so my mind is subconsciously aware of language used, pronunciation, idioms, etc that I need to be aware of in the future. As I studied his language, the vocabulary used and chosen, I quickly found I was very surprised by the extra messages they were sending beyond “just the facts.” This is just the news which is supposed to be unbiased, but when you add in tv shows, movies, and everything else you see on tv that is created and scripted with the specific intent to convey a certain specific message to you then that adds a huge other layer of voices.

External Media:
The more foreigners we saw, the louder the voices got. Standing in the Atlanta airport, I confessed to my teammates that I was afraid of all the voices that I was already hearing. (I’m not saying they’re not in China, but I’m saying they’re in a different language and in a different cultural setting (so they’re not fitted for my perception skills) so I’m not picking them up as heavily.  From words on the signs, to the pictures on them, to the way people dress, and treat each other. It’s all adding a cacophony of voices to the mix. Some are about fashion about what’s cool and you should be cool but without saying it that blatantly, subtly putting it in your thought as if you were the one to think it.

Memory:
I never thought about this one until my house. There’s a lot of voices that come from memory. An item, a surrounding, even foods and smells spark up memories that your brain has trained itself to know how to react. Living in China, everything is new and everything has to be taken in and processed each time – even things you may have done 5 or 10 times before – it’s usually not enough to have a strong memory.  I see my old football jersey hanging on my wall and I’m instantly taken back to high school where I was more backward and shy. I felt overwhelmed by too many things and that no one really seemed to like me for me and each day was a struggle to try to be me but who they wanted me to be and…. Then without knowing it, all the thought patterns start to creep back in.  Where is my new mind that’s been transformed in the process?  That’s with one article of clothing – imagine a room full of things saturated with memories and emotions screaming out your old life. Some boast good memories of a simple life where you wish you could just go back and relax and chill and see everyone again – others haunt you with mental chains and a life of sin that you don’t want to go back to. Either way a room full of voices remind me of my old life both easy and comfortable and difficult and straining.

There’s also the non-emotional memories that just are …memories:  bacon cheeseburger, going to Walmart, spotting a yard-sale, the grass between your toes, having options of where you could go for the day. All of these things send signals to the brain surging back ideas, thoughts, memories, and together… more voices.

Expectations:
I have expectations for people, I know they do of me. It’s how we cope, prepare, understand, adapt, live.  I have expectations of myself (which I’m trying to surrender and let them be transformed into His expectations). I also know I have expectations from my parents, my brother, my fellowship, my friends, people in my neighborhood…etc. What was he like before? How did he change? Does he speak Chinese? Can he use chopsticks? Will he bow when he sees us? They try to figure things out and either 1) assume how I’ve changed and expect me to fit in there or 2) expect me to be exactly the same. I’m not saying it’s bad, I do it to, I think we all do but there again more voices. Also, expectations of what I will do in the day - I like to spend some good quality quiet time in the mornings and finish whenever I'm done. Except with a screwed up sleep schedule, I wake up at 11:30am or 2:30pm (accidentally) and when I'm done with my quiet time it's already 12:30-4:30pm and that's over most of the day is gone and I can feel the expectations of people to do things with me or for me or that I should do them. Which is fine and ok, but I keep oversleeping and then want to please them because they've helped me out so much, but my quiet time isn't in yet so everythings off. —This is where the fear of man comes in and really have to shed this one off asap because otherwise I find myself running around trying to chase expectations and please everyone rather than be me and who He calls me to be for the day.

The other thing besides behavior is expectations for activity. Waking up at a certain time, joining in certain activities, things I have to do now that I’m back from China, things I have to do before I go back to China, to-do lists, catching up with people, thanking people, etc. I’m not saying these are bad things but they are more voices and more things I have to think about that potentially block the signal from Him.

Him:
I guess this is ultimately what I want to be hearing – who I want to be hearing from.  With many of these other things either 1) not as evident or present, or 2) in another language and easy to tune out I found His voice to be much louder and confident in it while in China. I want it to be loud though. I want when I read about who He is, who He really is, for it to change the way I think about Him, the way I expect Him to act, and the circumstances of my day to shift around what I just read rather than Him just be slotted into the first hour or two that I’m awake.  Activities, attitudes, and relationships should shift and bend and be restructured in the way I expect, think, and consider them after my time with Him realizing who He is. There should be a peace and a confidence that it is all ok, somehow, He is in charge and it will all be taken care of – rather than scratching , pondering, frustrated, using the bathroom –nervous, attempted problem solving for hours. I don’t think that stuff should be as prevalent. I think if we really realized, if I really realized who He is and all that He is, I wouldn’t do as much but I’d confidently turn and wholeheartedly turn and pray that God would change the situation or change me to fit the situation in common or supernatural impossible ways, then turn and evaluate which one just changed that we could proceed in.

I think one of the greatest ways to tell where I am is when I read the Psalms. Are they words on the page or do they stir something inside of me. Is it a nice poem, or does fear and awe fill my body? Do I really believe it, or can I read the words with it not changing me, my thought process, or attitude?

Are these things other voices bad? Maybe. Maybe not. Right now I’m going to keep spending time with Him and pleading that He keeps me close to Him and helps me follow Him. (I find that it’s in the little whispers throughout the day that keep me close – or it’s the thoughts that I knew in China to be true that might not be as compelling in America : TV not a good idea, very few movies, don’t overeat (check your stomach not your mouth), quiet time first thing in the morning (people and breakfast can wait). Right now this is what I’m going to do. If it gets worse later, I’ll probably do some more cleaning of memories, expectations, habits, and whatever else He shows me that I can get rid of to silence the voices. I think starting the day and getting connected early then constantly checking in throughout the day to stay connected will do a great deal. But whatever it is – I only want one voice to be the one that moves me, directs me, causes me to act, and motivates me and that voice is His.

Cap and Gown Doesn't Always Mean Graduation

Recently, I saw the seniors get their cap and gown and rock it out. They were taking pictures out on the lawn (in the typical Chinese way) and continued to take them all over. I later saw them eating in the dining hall with them on...

I thought “Man, they really are proud of those. They haven’t taken them off and are wearing them around everywhere.” It was kind of strange to me to be walking in the school supermarket and pass someone with their cap and gown on just looking at the rack of mystery meat trying to pick his favorite flavor of… who knows what.

Another senior student told us some details later. The school doesn’t have enough of the uniforms for all the seniors. “Oh man! That sucks.” I felt sorry for them and a little frustrated that not everyone got one... until he continued on.

He explained how they don’t actually wear them for the ceremony. “Hu?!” They just pass them out to let students take pictures in them and then they rotate the uniforms around for all the students. So for the past week and a half I have seen seniors out on the lawn every sunny day taking pictures of themselves in cap and gown. Since they only get to use them for a few days they just get good use out of them and wear them all over. I’d support it in dining hall 3 then too.

They said that the cap and gown is more of a western thing and it’s just now starting to pick up in China. It’s not that popular though and seems kind of foreign to them, but they like it and to get to take pictures in them. It also turns out that during the graduation ceremony their parents don’t even come. “Say whaaaaa?! Pssh, my mama would be in the front row despite what culture she’s in.” I guess graduation is a big deal, but it’s not the big celebrated event. From what I can tell, high school graduation was more just your class getting together and celebrating with your teachers and classmates. My officemate just defended her thesis for her masters and I got excited about the graduation. She said her and her classmates went out with her professor and advisor for a dinner to celebrate. They’ll send her the certificate in a few weeks – but that’s how they celebrate. A little different from the west.

Hope you enjoy. I’m graduating from my first year at Hua Qiao this Saturday! We leave for Beijing for a few days then I’ll be  home next Wednesday (June 22) mentally 12 hours ahead and physically probably 48 hours behind. Happy Graduation!

How to tell I’m not from around here…anymore

I mentioned to you earlier that my teammate Danielle went taught in another school in China last year then went home for a semester and then came back to join our team. She recently blogged about things that foreigners do when we come back to the states. Here is her blog post which is hilarious to me (because it's all true) so I wanted to share it with you.
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This past Fall while I was transitioning home after being in China for a year, I was surprised at some of the strange things I did. Every person is different, but if you’ve lived in China for an extended length of time, chances are you’ve experienced one of the below points. Or, if you are planning on heading back to America soon, this is a taste of what you might experience. OR if you by chance run into me this summer, please don’t judge me if I do one of the following:

1. I use poor English or Chinglish.

Ironically, since becoming an English teacher, my English has gotten worse. I will use simple words. I will use strange/incorrect grammar. I will speak Chinglish. I will make jokes in Chinglish that no one else will understand. And I’ll probably laugh at my own lame jokes, and then try to explain it to you, which will only make it more confusing and awkward.

2. I forget lots of words while I’m talking.

(This IS different from number 1.) When I first got home last year, I would forget a word about every other sentence. I’d be in the middle of talking and would have to stop and try to describe a word because I couldn’t remember even simple words. For example, “Then I had to find an outlet to put the…what’s that thing called? You know, it’s attached to a cord and goes into the wall?.. Oh, right. Plug.” I expect this again this year. This is because I’ve been speaking English with students who are still learning English vocabulary. The other Americans I talk to regularly throughout my time in China are in the same boat as me, so our English has been getting progressively worse together.

3. I forget to tip.

I’m sorry. I feel awful about this. Remind me if you see me do this. No one tips in China; it’s just not part of the culture.

4. I speak slowly and over enunciate.

I’m sorry if I use my teacher voice on you.

5. I get really excited about seemingly normal things.

Like Target. Or Turkey avocado sandwiches. Or really big dogs. I’ve been away for a year and haven’t seen these things for a while. Sometimes, I’ll realize the amount of excitement I am expressing for something (food or a store, especially) might seem odd, so then I’ll tell people around me that I don’t know (ie: the clerk or people waiting in line behind me) that I’m so excited because I just got back from China, yay! Sometimes people think this is endearing; sometimes they don’t. I will over-share regardless.

6. I get easily distracted when other conversations are going on.

After a year of not understanding most of what is going on around me unless I really focus, I can suddenly understand EVERTHING that EVERYONE is saying ALL AROUND ME. It’s overwhelming, and I accidentally eavesdrop on people just because I automatically pick up on the English. Also, I’ve spent the past year having private conversations with other foreigners in very public places because no one can understand us. So there are times I might say something inappropriate or personal for all to hear. Oops. Sorry.

7. I can’t make a decision!

I’m used to going to a store where almost everything is in Chinese. This limits my options usually since I don’t want to accidentally buy bleach instead of dish soap. However, when I’m in America, I suddenly have aisles and aisles of choices because everything is in English! I may get overwhelmed, and I may ask you to help me pick out toothpaste.

8. I fail miserably at making small talk.

This is a big one. I apologize if you run into me while I’m home this summer and I made you feel awkward because my lack of small talk skills. I used to be great at it, but China has ruined me. Here, my small talk is usually with students, and while many of them have good English and can have serious discussions about many topics, they have yet to master the art of small talk. Plus, I think I freak my students out when they see me outside of class, so they get really nervous.

My small talk for the past year has usually looked something like this:
Student: “Hello teacher/danier/daniel/dania/danni”
Me: “Hi Mary, how are you?”
Student: “I’m going to the dining hall.”
Me:“Oh, okay, that’s good.”
Student: “Have you eaten?” or “Where are you going?”
Me:“Yes, I just finished lunch.” or “I’m going to my office.”
Student: “Okay, I will go.”
Me: “Okay. See you later. Bye!”
Student: “See you! Bye-bye!”

If you run into me and we start chatting, I might ask you where you are going, or if I realize this is a strange thing to ask in America, I might panic and start explaining where I’m going or what I’m doing even though you didn’t ask me. Then, when the conversation should be over, I will probably either A) abruptly end it because I can’t remember how to end it otherwise, or B) keep talking (most likely in Chinglish) hoping you will end it since I can’t remember how to.

So, if you are about to return to Meiguo(America), give yourself some time to adjust. If you are the loved one of a recent China returnee, please cut us some slack and laugh at our bad jokes and don’t get mad when we speak to you in our teacher voices.


For more of Danielle's bloggings, check out: http://danielleinchina.tumblr.com/

A barrage of thoughts...

I'm sorry for the lack of blogging lately. Some errors with my email along with a busy time of the year has manifest itself in the lack of bloggings.  To catch you up on some of my life, I have a bunch of just random thoughts and ideas and celebrations.

Here's a picture of when my team leader, Dave, left China with cancer. In case you haven't heard, we serve a mighty King, Ruler, and Healer. A week after leaving Bangkok after stopping by China, he arrived in Columbus at one of the best cancer treatment hospitals in America. After a few hours of running tests, the doctor came to say, "whatever they found in Bangkok....isn't there anymore. All your levels are fine." They did more tests and a biopsy and he went back a few days later to get more of the same results - HEALED!

SURPRISE! FINALS TIME!

Finals shouldn't be a surprise...especially to the teacher, but sometimes they are. This year they were. It didn't seems like it was the end of the semester (for the rest of the school it isn't, our contract runs out a month earlier - so we can go home for some summer.) I wasn't done teaching. I was actually kind of getting into the groove and it felt weird to try to downshift towards the end of the semester. I wasn't ready for it to be over. "But you're coming back next year" people told me. True, but I'd still like closure on this year. I'll have different students, a different team, different office-mates, a lot of different things that I'd just like to end well and have closure on here. We've been giving finals for the last week and a half. We have half a week of finals left then one more week of teaching classes before we leave campus. I've been asking for closure and for Him to help me shift mental gears from China to America. I have tried to not let myself think about America too much, but now it's time to. I'm trying to process all the stories and all that's happened and all that I've learned and try to put it into words...and then try to simplify those words down into a smaller amount than 72 consecutive hours.

WORDS?

One of my new teammates (Danielle) taught in Harbin last year, then went home for a year (which turned out to be only a semester) and then joined our team this semester when Tom had to go home. She was explaining some common things that will happen when you go back to the States. One of them is that you forget how to make small talk. I laughed because I thought - that's all that we seem to do is make small talk with students and such...but then I learned it was true. Sunday, at our fellowship we met a college group of Canadians who are studying in Changchun for a few weeks and getting a vision of what things are like. They're all TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) majors. Later that day we hung out with them and I focused really hard on not speaking Chinglish and then trying to remember what it's like to communicate with foreigners who don't live in the same vicinity that you do. We made it through but it was much more of a struggle than I anticipated. I'll post up Danielle's full list of oddities soon. It's pretty interesting.

LEGIT 5-D MOVIE

This weekend Grammar wanted to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 in the 3-D IMAX movie that is in Changchun. But watching Kung Fu Panda in China with Chinese people makes it so much more authentic than at home. Especially when it was in an IMAX 3-D movie theater. It took it from IMAX 3-D to CHINA 5-D. I told one teammate afterwards that I now know I've been living in China long enough when while watching the movie I saw a really cool scene and I reached to get my camera to take a picture to show it to my family...before I remembered it was a movie. I was thinking "man, that's such a cool shot. I gotta get that!" then leaned forward to get my camera to see the sea of theater chairs in front of me which brought me back to reality of... oh yeah, it's a movie. I'm not sure what exactly I thought of the movie because we only saw the last 45min/hour of it. Grammar checked the show times (which were all day) but when we got there all of the English versions were sold out or had already been shown. (After trying to watch "Inception" in the movie theaters all in Chinese without subtitles - the idea of watching another western movie in Chinese didn't peak my interest.) We found one movie that had started "20 min ago" so we figured after the previews and such we would only have missed like maybe 5 min or so. Turns out "20 min" is not the same "20 min" we think of and we walked in just about the middle of the movie. Oh well, the second half was good.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I have so many more stories to tell you about conversations with students, other foreign teachers (Italty, England, Spain), the art and culture festival, really good text messages, interesting Chinglish happenings, and lessons I've been learning. But I will keep this one short. Please Please Please lift us up. We can tangibly feel the difference when you do. I feel as if sometimes after a celebration report, people stop lifting us up and things get rocky here. So please continue to lift us up for strength and energy. To finish our work easily and well. To not rush conversations but to be intentional still until the end. With wisdom and discernment about how to leave our final remarks and conversations. Ask especially for an increase of the Sprites work in our hearts and in theirs as we leave and part ways temporarily or for good. We also ask for protection from the darkness, lies, and comfortability that wants to jump in and fill the place where community, truth, and light have been. We reject and cast that out in His Mighty Name: the darkness of oppression, the darkness of depression, the darkness of lies, of selfishness, of "you'll never be good enough," of you're not loved, of you're not of any worth, of comfortability, the darkness of money will solve problems, the darkness of very misguided lives, the darkness that clouds actual paths of life and only shows a path that is making money, honoring family, marriage, then having kids to reproduce the cycle. We reject this darkness and all the other plans of how darkness tries to work! We proclaim that this campus is HIS! We proclaim these people are HIS! We proclaim that LIGHT comes into the darkness and darkness HAS NOT, CANNOT, and WILL NOT overcome it! We ask for the filling of this place with Light, Truth, Love, and especially with the One who brings it all and is it all. We ask for protection over this place and these people and for His Sprite to reign and rule even as we are physically not present (not that we were doing anything). That He would reign and fill this place through His people here and that Light would continue to permeate through souls. (It's cool if things change when we leave and people will say, "oh what's different?" but ultimately that is about us and I want to be more concerned with them and their safety rather than what people might think about me.) Let His protection and Love flow in greater measures and greater Truth be made evident for the fame of His Name!

Thank you so so so so much for your love and support and those Thoughts. I'm excited to get to see, share some, talk with, catch up with you more when I get home.

With Love, Peace, and some.... more Love and love, (and Light)
Abram