I will do more than restore...

It's been an amazing month and a half and I am heartbroken, boggled, amazed, and just stunned by what I have seen and gotten to experience. I'm compiling pictures and stories but I had to share this one before I forgot it. It's the culmination of the semesters and these two results both were told me to me in the last 24 hours.

This last semester has been rough and often seemingly like my pr's had no power or effect. That when I called... He would answer other people but me... not always. I see otherwise now.

1) A teacher friend of mine was having a rough semester. Aside from living in China and being the first semester (which always has issues) there was just more funk and attack on top of it. Our hearts broke as we heard story after story of things fading and falling. At our annual conference in Thailand I got to catch up with her and 90% of what I heard was negative. There was bitterness, anger, frustration, and almost hatred of the place. (I understand, I have been there. I don't say it out of condemnation to her - I say it out of understanding.) The more the conversation would go about her city or school it would end up going back to the negative. When talking about going back this next semester, there was fear, frustration, and an extreme resistance to do it. (I had it last year too.) It's like almost begging the Father not to send me back again, don't make me do it. Please send me somewhere else, maybe home, just... I really don't want to go back there again.

A week and half later (yesterday), I skyped with her expecting to hear more frustrations, some lessons learned, and things to be lifting up. Instead, she shared with me she loved her city. (She's got a rough city to love too.) "The Father has just given me a love for this place. It's like I'm falling in love with China all over again. It's completely His love because I have nothing and desperately didn't want to be here." When asked if she was still going home next year to work part time and try to restablish what was going on (which she shared with a broken heart and almost out of fear at our conference) she responded, "I'm actually coming back to China for the next two years." My heart jumped with excitement and confusion as if this was real. The Father had literally done a 180 with her heart taking it and filling it with passionate love for an awful city and an extremely hard time. She's coming back for two more years to the same city she hated two weeks ago. The Father is so good to take what we hate (and there are many things I hate) and not just make us ok with it, but instead give an abounding love for it.

2) (I'll make this one quicker.) I had a good friend and student call me last semester and say, "Can you do me a favor?" "Um, I'll try, what's up?" "Can you just kill me? I'm asking you to do it so you won't get in trouble. You can just help get it ready so you won't do anything." He was in a deep depression that had been going on for months. His world on the outside was semi-stable, but his cry was "why can't I just experience His love? Why can't I feel it? I'm not sure He loves me." He was ready to give up. He was leaving for his senior internship this semester and hated that idea too - working with greedy, backstabbing people who use dirty practices and make him do things he doesn't want to do, going to a place he has no connections or idea where to live, using a language he didn't want to use (he studied German and English and wanted to use German). So we pr, and when it was pretty much hopeless tried to speak out words of hope that the Father would do and provide.

Last night he called me and filled me in. A 50 min conversation (long for Chinese/American dialog via phone) about his new job. He had been there 3 weeks. His job was decent, his housing that was provided was a little less than decent, but the people he worked with were very very nice. They were very warm and welcoming. He found a Fellowship near his work that he could go to and was connected by our local fellowship here to another one. He traveled 2.5 hours to go find them and 2.5 hours to come back and said it was worth it. He might go visit them each week. (5 hours to go to Fellowship? woah.) He loves the city (which he didn't think he would) and it has lots of good places to check out.

The awesome thing about both of these conversations was that I heard J-man Joy coming out of both of them. Where there was anger, frustration, hopelessness, and a sincere cry of "please, not any more." there is now joy in each word. He has not only restored them back to normal but instead blessed them above. I am overfilled with joy and in that I wrote this this morning. I'll leave you with it and write more stories later but for now...enjoy.

"Look at those who were brokenhearted that you have prayed and wept for – see how I have restored them. So will I continue. What you weep and pray over, I will restore and bless. Continue to weep with those who weep, morn with those who morn, and pray that I will restore. For I will always restore and in abundance. I am good and just. I long to restore. I long to forgive. I wait patiently for you to come to me so that I can make you fully new. Cause I want you to know, how much I love you. Come to me, come to me, come to me and don’t be afraid to have nothing to give. Don’t be afraid that I won’t come through. Don’t be afraid that I won’t be good. Come to me all who are broken and heavy, who are weary from life and this battle. Come to me and I will draw near. I will restore. I will fix. I will bless. I will be more than just reestablishing – I will be overly abundant. I want to be and will be extravagant. I’m not bringing you back on level, I’m taking you above to a new level. For are mine. I love you. I gladly paid for you with my sons own life and I still love you. My love did not waver, dip, change, alter when I gave up my son. In fact, my sacrifice was just out of the overflow of my love for you. Come to me and ask me to restore. Come to me with tears and a broken heart. Come to me with the tears and broken heart of another. I long to restore. I will restore. I will always take care of you. My promises are true and I will come through always. Always."