Change

So this isn't something that happened yesterday or this week, but something that has been happening and something that I am Asking happens today and tomorrow and the next day. Change.

I feel like most of us are really bad at change - even those of us who say we are good at change... yeah not really. I think some of it comes out of our western view of independence, and some of it comes out of our human view of comfort and experience.  I could go on and explain lots of things and babble, but the short version is this.

When we get together on Sunday mornings, do we come and expect to experience the presence of Him? Seriously? Do you go expecting to experience the presence of Him, or do you go because you should and it's a repetition. I found myself many times just thinking about what's next, what will I do after. Even at cru, sometimes I just wanted to make it through and everything go alright. But "just making it through" is not what we have a meeting for, it's not why it was created, it's not why we are created. No one puts that much time and effort into something to just make it through, or for tradition sake. He didn't. We didn't. We shouldn't.

I also find this the case not only on Sunday mornings, but many times in my every morning. As I crack open the Book - I find myself fighting the urge and idea that I have to do it, or I should do it, or that it's in my routine and just get some good time in and then you can move on. I have to ask for the desire to do it, I ask for not just the desire but also that I would experience Him and His fullness. Each time I open the Book, I bow my head, I lift my eyes, I ask my heart would be turned and my attention gathered and His presence come down not that it would just be something I do, but it would be a real encounter.

Then the next question is, if we do go to experience the presence of Him, do you, and does it cause you to change afterwords. I'm not so sure we can experience His presence and not be changed. So many times we want to feel Him. We feel Him, then we continue back to do things the way we were doing them.

Maybe that's a joy of living in a foreign country is that it's much easier to stay flexible. You have to. Well, you can become rigid and stiff, you can stick to your own ways, but you'll end up clashing more with the culture and those around you and just not getting to experience the fullness of the culture where you are. You can't live in America while really living in China. You must change.  -- As we're adapting to our New Creation Culture... how often do you still try to stay the same? How often do we want to treat people the same? talk the same way? act the same way? have the same habbits? watch the same shows? collect the same things? listen to the same music? give the same amount of money? read the same amount of the Book? look at people the same way? stay in our comfortable area because change is just too inconvient for us? I've done it this way for however many years now, why shouldn't I continue to do it.

I can't imagine how annoying it must be to Him when He sees us continue to do this. In my English classes, one thing we go over is Chinglish (Chinese + English; things that when translated aren't correct.) An example of this, "I very like it." The sentence structure is different in Chinese, so I told them this and showed them the right way to say it, "I really like it" or "I like it very much" or "I like it alot." Then it's a little frustrating after 10 min of explaining this to give them a practice dialog and here "I very like it" flow out like it's correct. I know they understood, we covered it, they agreed to it, they practiced saying it, they repeated it back to me... then they went on and went back to the old way because they didn't want to change/change is hard. I give them grace and some buffer time to work it out of their vocabulary, but after a while - if they're not changing what I've taught them and reminded them of... what's the point of me teaching them any more? How can they take it in and take in more if they don't apply the first things?

So it kind of comes down to it like this... when we get together as a Family, when we open the Book, when we physically get on our knees, do we expect to experience the presence of our Father and out of that experience are we changed forever? When the time is over, are we walking in the new change that He is bringing?  Think about this: the next time you open your Book or go to Fellowship, are you asking "Let me experience You and Know you so that I will be changed for all of eternity due to what is about to happen?"

I want to be the soft clay, ready and malleable - everyday. Coming before Him and saying, "ok, you changed me yesterday and last night, now I want and need you to change me more. It's probably gonna hurt some and be inconvenient, but here I am." I want to say that, I want to mean that, I want to be that. Help us to be that.