I don't want to say more than I should or go off and sound like I've got it all figured out. But I did want to share something. I saw this video clip on Youtube of Francis Chan (solid man) just talking a 2 min clip about a passage.
Francis Chan Video Clip
Afterwords, I thought about a song "Counting on G" by the Desperation Band. One line in the song says, "[I want] Just enough strength to live for the day". I thought about that and some of my own experience with some other friends experience along with this passage from Proverbs. I thought about how He has given us just enough for the day and sometimes not anymore than we need so at the end of the day, we are spent. I've had a few of these days/weeks where I just wanted to collapse at the end of the day and think, "Man, I've got nothing else." While processing this out with a friend, I thought that "daily bread" does not mean or gaurntee that we live in excess of anything including strength, energy, food, or monetary riches - but that it's always enough. It might not be enough for what we want, but in the end it is and was always was enough. At the end of the day, don't you want to know that all that you had you spent? I want to collapse across the Finish Line knowing that I gave it all I had and had nothing left...
Today I'm going to thank Him for having "just enough" to complete the task that was set before me for today.
Just enough strength and energy. Just enough patience and love. Just enough fight and rest. Just enough food and water. Just enough mercy and restraint. Just enough forgivness and grace. and Just enough fire and zeal to make it through the day.
P.S. Just enough is not a bad thing. It's a good thing. It shows the amount of control that He's in and proves that it's always enough, even when it doesn't seem to be enough.
My life in China: Teaching. Learning. Pursuing. Surrendering. Being Loved. Loving.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
See Him like you do.
I wrote this Nov 30, but didn't get it posted so here it is now:
Some days in China are just pretty super. Today was one of those days. I got a package from one of my good friends who gave me permission to go ahead and open it and so this morning I did. It was pretty awesome. Milk and cookies and directions of how to open them and share them.
I had a good time with G in the morning and had set aside a certain aspect of my day that I wanted to promise to Him. I didn’t quite understand why or how to explain it if anyone asked, but I felt the urge to do it today and just trust that because the Book says so, we should.
First class went pretty well. Tuesdays, I start my new lesson for the week so it’s usually “8:00am Tuesday -give the new lesson. 10:00am Tuesday – rewrite my new lesson plan.” Haha. That’s only been like one time, but I do go back through and edit, fix, tweak, and think through parts better afterwards. As I was about to finish it up I planned on spending some time with Him then doing/finishing my other lesson plan for English Corner after lunch…before the English Corner. But the assistant dean’s assistant came in and told me that my rescheduled class was mistakenly at the wrong time and asked if I could do it this afternoon. …. Sure. So I finished up the reviewing of the lesson. Broke out the good book and started doing some reading. (I know, logically not the first choice of time management – but it’s starting to become more of a habbit.) I had some good time then and started to understand more and just dive in more.
Then I went to lunch with my students. (I’m making them all eat lunch with me at some point so they practice their English and they won’t be as nervous in class, and so I can get to know them a little better. But that means 180+ students, 4 students at a time, is lunch and atleast one dinner 5 days a week for 7 weeks. We’re in week 5 now, I think. It started out really good and intentional, but after a few weeks of having the same conversations and getting sick and all the students blurring together, it wasn’t my greatest effort.) But today… He showed up.
“Yeah. I love reading the Book. It tells us what we’re here for. It tells us what life is about. It tells us how much He loves us. It tells us what will happen when we die. It tells us a lot.” They all looked at each other as if it was the “Oh crap, what the heck did he just say? He was talking way too fast and I don’t know those words.” But instead I heard, “Oh! It seems like it’s very important.” A few “co-insidences” with Family member students stopping by to help translate which story in the Book they were talking about and Jessie teaching me the word for “Family” yesterday aided the conversation along. I asked if another one of the girls read the Book. She said yes, but she didn’t understand it. She read about Captain Noah. How He had to punish the world for the bad doings. Throughout the conversation I found out that that is how she viewed Him was punishing – not that she really believed in Him. I asked if she thought the stories in the Book were true or if they were just stories. She said she thought that some were, but not all of them can apply to today. (It wasn’t really this of an in-depth apologetic argument, it was just her trying to think it out.) She thought that He existed in part. The laws (I think government basically) handle punishment, and that He is within all of us (eastern religin). “Hmm. Uh, yeah, that’s an interesting point, I guess.” (Trying to show my non-agreeance yet still acknowledging that it wasn’t her English ability that I was confused with.)
(As I’m telling this story, they’re all pretty fixated on me. Not like “I don’t know what’s going on,” but more like “Woah! This is a story!”) I remembered what another friend had told me about internationals, how they often need it in steps and not all at once, but as I was mid-story I thought about leaving that with them and I stopped so it could settle, but it didn’t feel right. It felt like I should keep going. The main girl said, “So …….” And repeated it all back to me in her own words about what was happening, so I said, “Yeah! Then…” and told more and she translated it again. When I got to the “upstairs” part, she jumped a little bit and said it in Chinese. One of the other girls said, “so what if you used to believe in Him, but now you don’t. Do you still have to be punished?” (Which is an odd thought, if I don’t think something exists, will the non-existent thing punish me? – but I think that was a translation issue and the heart of it was, I’m not living the way I should or used to…what now?) So after a quick check “upstairs”, I explained that it was all about the Son. If we accept Him, then we’ve surrendered and given control of our life over to Him then we will act different. We will live like He does exist and our punishment will be taken care of because of the Son. But if we’ve never done that, then we still have to deal with our own punishment.
After all of this, I thought… “I think most of that translated, but I think I just got excited and overwhelmed them with information and it was more than they wanted to know.” Then she said, “I think you should teach us more about G, about your view of Him. You have a much different perspective and I want to see it.” (pretty much said, I want to see Him the way you see Him.)
She threw out the different culture thing about learning other cultures, and I tried to show her that our religion came from an eastern culture. That it was her culture too, not just ours. (That part didn’t quite translate) but I agreed and told her that I would love to teach her more and tell her more, that I really like talking about that type of stuff. I’m not sure if she will follow it up, but I definitely am going to try.
Afterwards, our Boy and was telling Him the good news and he said, “Yeeeaaahh, for the past two months it seems as if a lot of people are interested in Book. A lot of the campus is curious and wanting to know more about Book.” I just smiled and agreed saying, “Yeah, it’s awesome what He’s doing here.” “Yeaaaah.” He agreed.
Quick second half of the story: in my English Corner tonight, I showed some short films and we discussed them. They didn’t know that I specifically picked out salty films. In fact, I got them from a pretty salty place, but they’re not too direct. At the end of the last one, they were bumfuzzled. They were so confused. One student guessed the man was a master over the girl who he was running and experiment on (most of the class followed her conclusion). But another student stated that she thought the man was “the G” that He was trying to help and wanted to take away the pain and the hurt from the old memory and wanted to give her a new memory. I laughed again. I’d been asking for revelations and wisdom to flow and it was. They went back and forth until the end of the class and I felt the yearning in my heart to share, but I was chickening out. I wanted to but I couldn’t get an opening and I felt like it was going to be too much preaching. “Just let them ask, please let them ask” I asked. The bell rang. “So what do you think about this one?” one girl in the back asked. “Well, I agree with her (pointing to the revelation girl). I see a picture of Him in this. In the past He keeps trying to help her, He keeps smiling at her and wanting to help so I think He’s a good guy. I also think that she does have a lot of pain and troubles in her past memory and I see that He gives her a new start. I see that that is a picture of G, how He takes those with troubles and pain and He gives them a new start. So that’s what I see.” Short, sweet, to the point, and the only way that video made sense to them. It was beautiful. I can’t wait because that girl has her own attitude and own personality just enough that she’s gonna accidentally try Him out and be swept away.
Some days in China are just pretty super. Today was one of those days. I got a package from one of my good friends who gave me permission to go ahead and open it and so this morning I did. It was pretty awesome. Milk and cookies and directions of how to open them and share them.
I had a good time with G in the morning and had set aside a certain aspect of my day that I wanted to promise to Him. I didn’t quite understand why or how to explain it if anyone asked, but I felt the urge to do it today and just trust that because the Book says so, we should.
First class went pretty well. Tuesdays, I start my new lesson for the week so it’s usually “8:00am Tuesday -give the new lesson. 10:00am Tuesday – rewrite my new lesson plan.” Haha. That’s only been like one time, but I do go back through and edit, fix, tweak, and think through parts better afterwards. As I was about to finish it up I planned on spending some time with Him then doing/finishing my other lesson plan for English Corner after lunch…before the English Corner. But the assistant dean’s assistant came in and told me that my rescheduled class was mistakenly at the wrong time and asked if I could do it this afternoon. …. Sure. So I finished up the reviewing of the lesson. Broke out the good book and started doing some reading. (I know, logically not the first choice of time management – but it’s starting to become more of a habbit.) I had some good time then and started to understand more and just dive in more.
Then I went to lunch with my students. (I’m making them all eat lunch with me at some point so they practice their English and they won’t be as nervous in class, and so I can get to know them a little better. But that means 180+ students, 4 students at a time, is lunch and atleast one dinner 5 days a week for 7 weeks. We’re in week 5 now, I think. It started out really good and intentional, but after a few weeks of having the same conversations and getting sick and all the students blurring together, it wasn’t my greatest effort.) But today… He showed up.
“I believe in G, but I don’t like reading the Book” were the first words that came out of her mouth. After a few minutes of the normal awkward silence, I was working through small talk conversation starters in my head that would work well, but then she just up and dropped this bomb on me. I just smiled and started thanking Him. “Oh! Ok. Good to know” were the words I think that flopped out of my mouth. “Do you think that it is important or useful for us to read?” she continued.
“Yeah. I love reading the Book. It tells us what we’re here for. It tells us what life is about. It tells us how much He loves us. It tells us what will happen when we die. It tells us a lot.” They all looked at each other as if it was the “Oh crap, what the heck did he just say? He was talking way too fast and I don’t know those words.” But instead I heard, “Oh! It seems like it’s very important.” A few “co-insidences” with Family member students stopping by to help translate which story in the Book they were talking about and Jessie teaching me the word for “Family” yesterday aided the conversation along. I asked if another one of the girls read the Book. She said yes, but she didn’t understand it. She read about Captain Noah. How He had to punish the world for the bad doings. Throughout the conversation I found out that that is how she viewed Him was punishing – not that she really believed in Him. I asked if she thought the stories in the Book were true or if they were just stories. She said she thought that some were, but not all of them can apply to today. (It wasn’t really this of an in-depth apologetic argument, it was just her trying to think it out.) She thought that He existed in part. The laws (I think government basically) handle punishment, and that He is within all of us (eastern religin). “Hmm. Uh, yeah, that’s an interesting point, I guess.” (Trying to show my non-agreeance yet still acknowledging that it wasn’t her English ability that I was confused with.)
Then she said it. The joyous words I love to here – “Oh. Why don’t you share with us your view about G?” BINGO! “Hmm. (with a smile on my face) I would love to!” I explained how He is love and how He loves us even though He has to punish us. Like a Father who disciplines us, but that we have a broken relationship with Him. I explained how during Captain Noah’s His punishment was carried out, but how He was still holding back all of the punishment from us until He could dump it on His Son. I explained how His son works as an intermediary between us to restore the broken relationship. How even before, He was pursuing us with Love while He held back the punishment. I explained how He came back from the dead to prove He really was the Son, and how we can have this life too with Him. That if we accept His death and submit our life to Him then we don’t have to deal with our punishment and we get to go “upstairs.”
(As I’m telling this story, they’re all pretty fixated on me. Not like “I don’t know what’s going on,” but more like “Woah! This is a story!”) I remembered what another friend had told me about internationals, how they often need it in steps and not all at once, but as I was mid-story I thought about leaving that with them and I stopped so it could settle, but it didn’t feel right. It felt like I should keep going. The main girl said, “So …….” And repeated it all back to me in her own words about what was happening, so I said, “Yeah! Then…” and told more and she translated it again. When I got to the “upstairs” part, she jumped a little bit and said it in Chinese. One of the other girls said, “so what if you used to believe in Him, but now you don’t. Do you still have to be punished?” (Which is an odd thought, if I don’t think something exists, will the non-existent thing punish me? – but I think that was a translation issue and the heart of it was, I’m not living the way I should or used to…what now?) So after a quick check “upstairs”, I explained that it was all about the Son. If we accept Him, then we’ve surrendered and given control of our life over to Him then we will act different. We will live like He does exist and our punishment will be taken care of because of the Son. But if we’ve never done that, then we still have to deal with our own punishment.
After all of this, I thought… “I think most of that translated, but I think I just got excited and overwhelmed them with information and it was more than they wanted to know.” Then she said, “I think you should teach us more about G, about your view of Him. You have a much different perspective and I want to see it.” (pretty much said, I want to see Him the way you see Him.)
She threw out the different culture thing about learning other cultures, and I tried to show her that our religion came from an eastern culture. That it was her culture too, not just ours. (That part didn’t quite translate) but I agreed and told her that I would love to teach her more and tell her more, that I really like talking about that type of stuff. I’m not sure if she will follow it up, but I definitely am going to try.
Afterwards, our Boy and was telling Him the good news and he said, “Yeeeaaahh, for the past two months it seems as if a lot of people are interested in Book. A lot of the campus is curious and wanting to know more about Book.” I just smiled and agreed saying, “Yeah, it’s awesome what He’s doing here.” “Yeaaaah.” He agreed.
Quick second half of the story: in my English Corner tonight, I showed some short films and we discussed them. They didn’t know that I specifically picked out salty films. In fact, I got them from a pretty salty place, but they’re not too direct. At the end of the last one, they were bumfuzzled. They were so confused. One student guessed the man was a master over the girl who he was running and experiment on (most of the class followed her conclusion). But another student stated that she thought the man was “the G” that He was trying to help and wanted to take away the pain and the hurt from the old memory and wanted to give her a new memory. I laughed again. I’d been asking for revelations and wisdom to flow and it was. They went back and forth until the end of the class and I felt the yearning in my heart to share, but I was chickening out. I wanted to but I couldn’t get an opening and I felt like it was going to be too much preaching. “Just let them ask, please let them ask” I asked. The bell rang. “So what do you think about this one?” one girl in the back asked. “Well, I agree with her (pointing to the revelation girl). I see a picture of Him in this. In the past He keeps trying to help her, He keeps smiling at her and wanting to help so I think He’s a good guy. I also think that she does have a lot of pain and troubles in her past memory and I see that He gives her a new start. I see that that is a picture of G, how He takes those with troubles and pain and He gives them a new start. So that’s what I see.” Short, sweet, to the point, and the only way that video made sense to them. It was beautiful. I can’t wait because that girl has her own attitude and own personality just enough that she’s gonna accidentally try Him out and be swept away.
Anyways, I wanted to share how good He is with you. Well, He’s always good, but today it was much more tangible. Thank you for reading all of this and I hope your day is Beautiful. I love you all.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
I can't imagine being pregnant right now...
Could you imagine being 9 months pregnant right now?
I can’t imagine it. I can’t imagine traveling hundreds of miles while on the brink of birth and getting to your hometown just to stay in a barn. But just because I can’t imagine it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. There are a few other things my imagination can’t quite create either:
A year ago, I never imagined standing in front of 30 freshman students in a white walled classroom in the north east of China sharing how it was because of Love that we were given a Gift at Christmas time. That this Gift would save the world, split time, and revolutionize so much of what we do.
I never imagined I would be helping correct the pronunciation of the Word, the name, that every nation would be mesmerized by and bow to.
I never imagined how quickly a life could be changed and flipped around.
I never really imagined the Power of the Word and how it acts like a slippery slide going downhill into His arms, once they’re reading and in a community… it’s only a matter of time.
I never imagined that in only a few months we would have 3 new Family members that we alone got to Talk to our Father about. I never imagined having a large movement of other Family members who are active on campus too.
I never imagined how His presence in me would bring so many people joy just by sitting and talking with me. How they would openly confess and start talking about Him and His family unprompted by my own mouth but just by His presence.
I never imagined that each day in a week would be the new coldest day of my life. Today we’ve got -18 to start Christmas morning.
I never imagined how many students would be so excited to learn English and talk with their foreign teacher. I also never thought of how normal it is to call yourself a foreigner.
I never imagined so many people telling me I’m good looking. (I guess He’s trying to tell me that He did a good job when He made me. -- P.S. He did good on you too.)
I never imagined how extremely difficult Chinese would be to learn. Whew-eee.
I never imagined how much I would come to appreciate a western toilet.
I never really imagined how much I didn’t know (about teaching, about people, about the world, about the Word, about so many things.. . I am learning quickly and continuously.) I also never imagined how much work and how big of an issue teaching would be. (I grossly underestimated this.)
I never imagined how funny life in China and life as a teacher could be. I also never realized how quickly my English level can drop and how easy Chinglish (Chinese + English phrases) can come into my vocabulary.
I never imagined I would sing in front of hundreds of people so many times in so little time.
I never imagined how many times I could be asked, “Do you like China?” “How long you China?” “Can you use chopsticks?” in one day… and still keep a smile and laugh about it.
I never imagined that the dining halls would intentionally cook food with more fat and grease to fatten us up so that we would stay warmer during the cold winter months. Seriously. And… it’s working too. Ut oh.
I never imagined how much I would miss you. Usually, I’m good at moving on and following Him, but a good part of my heart is still with you and I find joy when I hear from you and your growth and love.
I can’t imagine being anyone else than here. Although , some days are much harder and all I seem to want is a friendly face from WV, I am blessed to get to be here, to get to do what I am doing, to get to have an impact on the lives of so many students.
I still can’t quite imagine how wide and long and high and deep is the Love He has for us. It blows me away. … Well, it blew me to the other side of the world anyways. :)
with Love, peace, and extra fattening grease,
(but the greatest is still Love)
Abram
(but the greatest is still Love)
Abram
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the (Fellowship) and in (the Son) throughout all generations, for ever and ever. –E:3:20
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Really?!
So it's been a while since I've been "really?!"ed by Him. I love seeing Him move in unexpected ways. I hadn't gotten on QQ for a long time. (QQ is an instant message program that everyone in China uses. No seriously, my office mates use it, my assistant dean uses it, my students use it. When I first met my assistant dean, I was given her name, phone number, and QQ number) So I figured I should get one to be in contact with them and get to know them better, etc. Well, for a long time it was ME trying to do things without Him, so He said, "stay off of QQ and come and spend time with Me." But the other night He gave me the go ahead. I got on and one student popped up to talk. He's came to my English corner the last 4 or 5 weeks but we haven't really talked outside of class. I just wanted to share with you this conversation to show you how He works and how it's completely Him doing the work, but how open the fields are. No lie, this is the conversation:
Student
Hello Abram
Abram
Hey student. How are you?
Student
good how are you?
Abram
I'm doing pretty good.
Abram
how do you plan on spending your weekend?
Student
what can i do?i must read for final exam
Abram
reading all weekend? did you get your responses finished for the other books or is that what you're working on?
Student
it is book that i learn
Student
can you give me some advices
Abram
sure. i'll try.
Abram
How can i help?
Student
actually,i do not know how to do in last
Abram
you do not know how to do what
Student
en,i feel lost in life,so i can not find happy in those months
Abram
yeah. i understand.
Abram
this happens to alot of people.
Abram
does it seems like there's something missing?
Student
do you have the same experiences
Abram
yeah, i used to feel that way.
Abram
I've made some changes in my life that have greatly changed that.
Student
what do you do to save the problem
Abram
I've found what I was missing was Him.
Abram
I think that we're made to have a relationship with Him, and if we don't have that then we feel empty and lost because there's a part of us missing.
Student
what it is mean
Abram
It's like if you have a computer, but you don't have the mouse to control the computer. It's really hard to use the computer the way you want to because you need the mouse. (Do you understand this part?)
Student
you are right
Abram
ok good.
Student
but how can i find it
Abram
I think that there is a bigger being than us. A greater thing that is bigger than all of us. That this being created us. This being is called Him.
Abram
When He created us, He created us/made us to know Him and love Him, and for Him to love us. It's like having a really really good Dad/Father.
Student
it is great
Abram
But if we don't have this relationship, this friendship with Him, then it feel like part of us is missing because part of us IS missing. So we feel lonely, and lost, and empty.
Abram
does this make sense?
Student
i think i am a children at this time
Abram
what do you mean?
Student
the life is too difficult to understand,is not it
Abram
yeah, it can be very difficult.
Abram
I've been reading the Book and it helps give me lots of answers and explains lots of things to me.
Student
en
Abram
en?
Student
i agree with
Abram
oh. ok.
Abram
have you ever read the Book?
Student
never
Abram
I think it would help alot. It tells the story about He creating us and how He loves us, and how we can have that relationship that we were created for.
We went on and talked a little bit more and got off on another subject about a different book he liked and why he liked it before I had to go but I really wanted to finish the conversation with him and told him I'd like to so I'm going to try to follow it up.
Student
Hello Abram
Abram
Hey student. How are you?
Student
good how are you?
Abram
I'm doing pretty good.
Abram
how do you plan on spending your weekend?
Student
what can i do?i must read for final exam
Abram
reading all weekend? did you get your responses finished for the other books or is that what you're working on?
Student
it is book that i learn
Student
can you give me some advices
Abram
sure. i'll try.
Abram
How can i help?
Student
actually,i do not know how to do in last
Abram
you do not know how to do what
Student
en,i feel lost in life,so i can not find happy in those months
Abram
yeah. i understand.
Abram
this happens to alot of people.
Abram
does it seems like there's something missing?
Student
do you have the same experiences
Abram
yeah, i used to feel that way.
Abram
I've made some changes in my life that have greatly changed that.
Student
what do you do to save the problem
Abram
I've found what I was missing was Him.
Abram
I think that we're made to have a relationship with Him, and if we don't have that then we feel empty and lost because there's a part of us missing.
Student
what it is mean
Abram
It's like if you have a computer, but you don't have the mouse to control the computer. It's really hard to use the computer the way you want to because you need the mouse. (Do you understand this part?)
Student
you are right
Abram
ok good.
Student
but how can i find it
Abram
I think that there is a bigger being than us. A greater thing that is bigger than all of us. That this being created us. This being is called Him.
Abram
When He created us, He created us/made us to know Him and love Him, and for Him to love us. It's like having a really really good Dad/Father.
Student
it is great
Abram
But if we don't have this relationship, this friendship with Him, then it feel like part of us is missing because part of us IS missing. So we feel lonely, and lost, and empty.
Abram
does this make sense?
Student
i think i am a children at this time
Abram
what do you mean?
Student
the life is too difficult to understand,is not it
Abram
yeah, it can be very difficult.
Abram
I've been reading the Book and it helps give me lots of answers and explains lots of things to me.
Student
en
Abram
en?
Student
i agree with
Abram
oh. ok.
Abram
have you ever read the Book?
Student
never
Abram
I think it would help alot. It tells the story about He creating us and how He loves us, and how we can have that relationship that we were created for.
We went on and talked a little bit more and got off on another subject about a different book he liked and why he liked it before I had to go but I really wanted to finish the conversation with him and told him I'd like to so I'm going to try to follow it up.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I wish you could have seen it...
It's times like this I wish you could just be here or that I could capture the beauty of Him at work.
I got a text from Kelsey asking if I had plans for lunch today because she was eating with two of her male students. (I understood the implications of this because I've asked her before to join me when I ate with female students... not just because of the guy girl boundary (because 95% of the time I eat with girls. I have 180ish students and probably 10-12 of them are guys.) but because of the supernatural side that was potentially coming to work.) After I ate with my students that I had already planned with, I ran over to the other dining hall and joined the 4 of them (the boys brought along another girl to translate for them whenever they got stuck).
One student really was excited to talk to me so we started talking as Kelsey talked to the other two. As we were talking, I noticed Jordan and Tannah (two other teachers) on the other side of the room eating with two students also. I could tell by the way Jordan was talking and Tannah was looking what was on his lips. The message was going forth. I zoomed out to hear what Kelsey was talking about and the meaning of Christmas and why we celebrate it was the topic of discussion. Also, it's hard to talk about Christmas without talking about Easter... if you really think about it. Why would there be a Christmas if Easter wasn't to follow? So that came up and I was just like "Dang Boy! Get it!" I was loving this and just thinking how awesome it would be for you all to get to hear this and I had an idea for a video... then I realized, "oh crap. this other student is still talking to me. It's been long enough I need to make a comment to show I'm still listening and understanding. Ahh!" Soon there after he asked me, "so do you have a girlfriend?" (common question) Followed by the question that I love, "what do you look for in a girl? good looks or her heart?" So I expressed what was MOST important in the girl of my dreams was also the MOST important thing in my life. It(He) has to be first and before me and THAT is what I love.
I texted Jordan asking "getting some Good News over there?" He got it as he walked out and turned around and waved the affirmative. I yelled "I could see it coming in." I talked to Tannah afterwords and she said, "G totally just opened up doors....jordan let it all out man! the good news and all."
Then I asked how it went, how did they respond? "they looked awestruck when he was talking, lol, and i think they really understood what he was saying" She went on to explain, "she asked us.....'don't you want a family and a husband/wife?' and that's when Jordan told her all about TRUE satisfaction. Her eyes long for true love. I don't know how to explain it but they scream for something true, something real. So when he was talking, i could tell she was getting it and really interested....."
I'm so excited and so pumped to see so many lines coming down and so many conversations had. I mean this is one lunch time. I know that in the other dining hall Ashley was getting to meet with a believer and probably encourage her too. Tom was eating with his entire class all at once. It's awesome! I'm pumped as to what He's doing and what we get to see. I wish you could see it.
I got a text from Kelsey asking if I had plans for lunch today because she was eating with two of her male students. (I understood the implications of this because I've asked her before to join me when I ate with female students... not just because of the guy girl boundary (because 95% of the time I eat with girls. I have 180ish students and probably 10-12 of them are guys.) but because of the supernatural side that was potentially coming to work.) After I ate with my students that I had already planned with, I ran over to the other dining hall and joined the 4 of them (the boys brought along another girl to translate for them whenever they got stuck).
One student really was excited to talk to me so we started talking as Kelsey talked to the other two. As we were talking, I noticed Jordan and Tannah (two other teachers) on the other side of the room eating with two students also. I could tell by the way Jordan was talking and Tannah was looking what was on his lips. The message was going forth. I zoomed out to hear what Kelsey was talking about and the meaning of Christmas and why we celebrate it was the topic of discussion. Also, it's hard to talk about Christmas without talking about Easter... if you really think about it. Why would there be a Christmas if Easter wasn't to follow? So that came up and I was just like "Dang Boy! Get it!" I was loving this and just thinking how awesome it would be for you all to get to hear this and I had an idea for a video... then I realized, "oh crap. this other student is still talking to me. It's been long enough I need to make a comment to show I'm still listening and understanding. Ahh!" Soon there after he asked me, "so do you have a girlfriend?" (common question) Followed by the question that I love, "what do you look for in a girl? good looks or her heart?" So I expressed what was MOST important in the girl of my dreams was also the MOST important thing in my life. It(He) has to be first and before me and THAT is what I love.
I texted Jordan asking "getting some Good News over there?" He got it as he walked out and turned around and waved the affirmative. I yelled "I could see it coming in." I talked to Tannah afterwords and she said, "G totally just opened up doors....jordan let it all out man! the good news and all."
Then I asked how it went, how did they respond? "they looked awestruck when he was talking, lol, and i think they really understood what he was saying" She went on to explain, "she asked us.....'don't you want a family and a husband/wife?' and that's when Jordan told her all about TRUE satisfaction. Her eyes long for true love. I don't know how to explain it but they scream for something true, something real. So when he was talking, i could tell she was getting it and really interested....."
I'm so excited and so pumped to see so many lines coming down and so many conversations had. I mean this is one lunch time. I know that in the other dining hall Ashley was getting to meet with a believer and probably encourage her too. Tom was eating with his entire class all at once. It's awesome! I'm pumped as to what He's doing and what we get to see. I wish you could see it.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Good Dinner.
This week is going beautifully well. Please, please, please don't stop lifting us up. This is where the strength is coming from. I want to give you a recap of the week at the end of it based upon us getting to share "the Greatest Story Ever Told" this week in class. I mean, we get to share the famous American Holiday... Christmas!... and all that it is about. :)
But I'll get back to it. At first tonight, I want to share with you something that just touched me pretty.... pretty good. I'm about at the end of making it through eating a meal with everyone in all of my classes and tonight was no different...but it was. As I walked into the dining hall, my initial thought process is, ok I'm in a good mood, I'll get to eat something, I'll talk to the students for a bit, then make it back in time and hopefully get my lesson plan done before our meeting and maybe get to bed early/before midnight. But I felt like He was just saying, "Ok. Slow down a minute. I don't want you to just "get through this" meal." So I kinda stopped and took a pause then said a quick Thought for Him to help me focus and come and fill the place.
We got our food and sat down and as always, I bowed my head said some Thanks, asked to be a blessing to my students and a Light in the conversation. When I looked up (like most times) they were staring at me, semi-confused but still waiting to be polite before they ate. They said, "is it ok to eat?" I laughed and said yes. They said, so you believe in J? "Yeah" I replied with a smile. "So said pr-y?" "Yep, I just wanted to Thank Him for the food that He's given us." They said, "her too" and pointed at the student next to me. Apparently, we both bowed at the same time and came up at the same time and didn't know it. So she said, "You believe in J?!" "Yeah," I said. "Me too!" she responded. "Awesome" I celebrated and high-fives were exchanged.
Throughout the conversation I found out that she's been in the family for year, her mom for 10 years, and her dad for 3 years. (Which is just an awesome story I can imagine of her mom being a little knee warrior.) I talked about how it's my favorite thing to talk about, "Me too!" she said... and she wasn't lying. Throughout the conversation she asked me what time I pr in the morning and if I read everyday? Her classmates/roommates (they room with their classmates - 4 in a room) often hear her pr at night before she goes to bed so they just ignore her because they always thought she was talking to them. She pointed out another one and said, "when we got here, she said she believe in J but now she doesn't." "Oh, really?" I responded with. She continued to fill me in on the conversation while the girl sat across the table from me staring at us, "She had a dream J, but now she no believe." "Why not?" I asked. She explained how she wanted to be in the Com. Party when she gets older and you can't believe in J and be in the Party. Another one of the girls said she started to read the Book too but it was confusing and she gave up. I asked which part and she said the beginning. I explained how it can be confusing, but I tried to navigate them to Matthews part. I think Matthew does a good job telling a Good Story.
I don't have time to tell you all of the details but during the meal she just kept directing it back to Him. They taught me how to say Book, G, and JC in Chinese. It was pretty cool. She explained how the other ones don't believe and one of her friends said, "Everyone believe their own thing." "I don't like!" she exclaimed. She was also surprised when I told her that not everyone in America believed either. I explained how I wished they did and she said the same thing and told how her Fellowship gives little books to people that explain J-man but they don't believe. "I don't like! That's no good." she exclaimed again.
It's so good to find another sister as passionate and excited about Him and making Him famous to those around us as we are. What's so good is we had most of this conversation in front of her other 3 classmates and it wasn't anything new. From the sounds of it, she'd been telling stories for a while and pretty open about it. It was beautiful. I'm excited to see what He does with them. One of them, I think will be within a year - she just needs more info to understand. One, my heart breaks for because she's looking for success first. The other one was pretty zoned out and just asked for a picture when I looked at her to join the conversation.
Last point, I was singing/humming a song while we were eating and they asked if I liked to sing. I said yes. She said, "about J?!" and I smiled and laughed and said, "yep!" She said, "me too!... but I don't know any in English." So I made a deal with her - if she taught me a song about J in Chinese, I would teach her one in English. I'm pretty excited about that and the other girl seemed excited too even. So... any suggestions on a good/ easier English song?
But I'll get back to it. At first tonight, I want to share with you something that just touched me pretty.... pretty good. I'm about at the end of making it through eating a meal with everyone in all of my classes and tonight was no different...but it was. As I walked into the dining hall, my initial thought process is, ok I'm in a good mood, I'll get to eat something, I'll talk to the students for a bit, then make it back in time and hopefully get my lesson plan done before our meeting and maybe get to bed early/before midnight. But I felt like He was just saying, "Ok. Slow down a minute. I don't want you to just "get through this" meal." So I kinda stopped and took a pause then said a quick Thought for Him to help me focus and come and fill the place.
We got our food and sat down and as always, I bowed my head said some Thanks, asked to be a blessing to my students and a Light in the conversation. When I looked up (like most times) they were staring at me, semi-confused but still waiting to be polite before they ate. They said, "is it ok to eat?" I laughed and said yes. They said, so you believe in J? "Yeah" I replied with a smile. "So said pr-y?" "Yep, I just wanted to Thank Him for the food that He's given us." They said, "her too" and pointed at the student next to me. Apparently, we both bowed at the same time and came up at the same time and didn't know it. So she said, "You believe in J?!" "Yeah," I said. "Me too!" she responded. "Awesome" I celebrated and high-fives were exchanged.
Throughout the conversation I found out that she's been in the family for year, her mom for 10 years, and her dad for 3 years. (Which is just an awesome story I can imagine of her mom being a little knee warrior.) I talked about how it's my favorite thing to talk about, "Me too!" she said... and she wasn't lying. Throughout the conversation she asked me what time I pr in the morning and if I read everyday? Her classmates/roommates (they room with their classmates - 4 in a room) often hear her pr at night before she goes to bed so they just ignore her because they always thought she was talking to them. She pointed out another one and said, "when we got here, she said she believe in J but now she doesn't." "Oh, really?" I responded with. She continued to fill me in on the conversation while the girl sat across the table from me staring at us, "She had a dream J, but now she no believe." "Why not?" I asked. She explained how she wanted to be in the Com. Party when she gets older and you can't believe in J and be in the Party. Another one of the girls said she started to read the Book too but it was confusing and she gave up. I asked which part and she said the beginning. I explained how it can be confusing, but I tried to navigate them to Matthews part. I think Matthew does a good job telling a Good Story.
I don't have time to tell you all of the details but during the meal she just kept directing it back to Him. They taught me how to say Book, G, and JC in Chinese. It was pretty cool. She explained how the other ones don't believe and one of her friends said, "Everyone believe their own thing." "I don't like!" she exclaimed. She was also surprised when I told her that not everyone in America believed either. I explained how I wished they did and she said the same thing and told how her Fellowship gives little books to people that explain J-man but they don't believe. "I don't like! That's no good." she exclaimed again.
It's so good to find another sister as passionate and excited about Him and making Him famous to those around us as we are. What's so good is we had most of this conversation in front of her other 3 classmates and it wasn't anything new. From the sounds of it, she'd been telling stories for a while and pretty open about it. It was beautiful. I'm excited to see what He does with them. One of them, I think will be within a year - she just needs more info to understand. One, my heart breaks for because she's looking for success first. The other one was pretty zoned out and just asked for a picture when I looked at her to join the conversation.
Last point, I was singing/humming a song while we were eating and they asked if I liked to sing. I said yes. She said, "about J?!" and I smiled and laughed and said, "yep!" She said, "me too!... but I don't know any in English." So I made a deal with her - if she taught me a song about J in Chinese, I would teach her one in English. I'm pretty excited about that and the other girl seemed excited too even. So... any suggestions on a good/ easier English song?
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Joe Snow Bowl - Thanksgiving
The Saturday after Thanksgiving, the guys from our company that are all over the city who were brave enough/stupid enough to come play football together did. It was the annual "Joe Snow Bowl." We had about 3 or 4 inches of snow in places and it blew snow nearly the whole game. I think we played for about 2.5 hrs. We ran. We slid. We fell. We caught a few balls. and We had a blast. It was about 14 degrees but with the windchill possibly a few degrees below. It was well worth the soreness and stiffness the next day.
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| All of those "brave enough" to take on the weather for the Joe Snow Bowl show our game faces... or frozen faces. |
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| Talking Trash... but they also won at the very end so I guess they can. |
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| Match ups. Also a good way to keep one hand warm. haha |
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| Game on. |
Pictures
So I'm just as guilty of this and that's how I know this, but I was looking at some pictures of another teacher here with us (but at a different university) and she put up picture of student at their English corner. My initial reaction pretty much just to click through and be like "yep, some more Chinese students" but then I noticed some of them and realized that I had gotten to talk with some of them on our visit there last week. Then I started to think back about some of those Talks that we had there in that English corner. I started to think about the eternities that were changing, the walls that were falling, the seeds that were growing, the souls that were forever being effecting during those talks, and it made me want to look a little closer. It made me think about how desperately, head over heals, nail-me-to-a-piece-of-wood-for-you type of love that He has for this person. I am continued to be overwhelmed to think about the massive amount of people and the even more massive amount of Love He has for them. Then to think about that He has that massive amount of Love for me too. I am massively impressed with Him. and I want to start looking at pictures not as "just another class or picture of Chinese/American/African students/people/workers/kids/adults...whoever" but instead as the souls that He is obsessive over. Individual souls that is what I want to see and know the Love of.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Change
So this isn't something that happened yesterday or this week, but something that has been happening and something that I am Asking happens today and tomorrow and the next day. Change.
I feel like most of us are really bad at change - even those of us who say we are good at change... yeah not really. I think some of it comes out of our western view of independence, and some of it comes out of our human view of comfort and experience. I could go on and explain lots of things and babble, but the short version is this.
When we get together on Sunday mornings, do we come and expect to experience the presence of Him? Seriously? Do you go expecting to experience the presence of Him, or do you go because you should and it's a repetition. I found myself many times just thinking about what's next, what will I do after. Even at cru, sometimes I just wanted to make it through and everything go alright. But "just making it through" is not what we have a meeting for, it's not why it was created, it's not why we are created. No one puts that much time and effort into something to just make it through, or for tradition sake. He didn't. We didn't. We shouldn't.
I also find this the case not only on Sunday mornings, but many times in my every morning. As I crack open the Book - I find myself fighting the urge and idea that I have to do it, or I should do it, or that it's in my routine and just get some good time in and then you can move on. I have to ask for the desire to do it, I ask for not just the desire but also that I would experience Him and His fullness. Each time I open the Book, I bow my head, I lift my eyes, I ask my heart would be turned and my attention gathered and His presence come down not that it would just be something I do, but it would be a real encounter.
Then the next question is, if we do go to experience the presence of Him, do you, and does it cause you to change afterwords. I'm not so sure we can experience His presence and not be changed. So many times we want to feel Him. We feel Him, then we continue back to do things the way we were doing them.
Maybe that's a joy of living in a foreign country is that it's much easier to stay flexible. You have to. Well, you can become rigid and stiff, you can stick to your own ways, but you'll end up clashing more with the culture and those around you and just not getting to experience the fullness of the culture where you are. You can't live in America while really living in China. You must change. -- As we're adapting to our New Creation Culture... how often do you still try to stay the same? How often do we want to treat people the same? talk the same way? act the same way? have the same habbits? watch the same shows? collect the same things? listen to the same music? give the same amount of money? read the same amount of the Book? look at people the same way? stay in our comfortable area because change is just too inconvient for us? I've done it this way for however many years now, why shouldn't I continue to do it.
I can't imagine how annoying it must be to Him when He sees us continue to do this. In my English classes, one thing we go over is Chinglish (Chinese + English; things that when translated aren't correct.) An example of this, "I very like it." The sentence structure is different in Chinese, so I told them this and showed them the right way to say it, "I really like it" or "I like it very much" or "I like it alot." Then it's a little frustrating after 10 min of explaining this to give them a practice dialog and here "I very like it" flow out like it's correct. I know they understood, we covered it, they agreed to it, they practiced saying it, they repeated it back to me... then they went on and went back to the old way because they didn't want to change/change is hard. I give them grace and some buffer time to work it out of their vocabulary, but after a while - if they're not changing what I've taught them and reminded them of... what's the point of me teaching them any more? How can they take it in and take in more if they don't apply the first things?
So it kind of comes down to it like this... when we get together as a Family, when we open the Book, when we physically get on our knees, do we expect to experience the presence of our Father and out of that experience are we changed forever? When the time is over, are we walking in the new change that He is bringing? Think about this: the next time you open your Book or go to Fellowship, are you asking "Let me experience You and Know you so that I will be changed for all of eternity due to what is about to happen?"
I want to be the soft clay, ready and malleable - everyday. Coming before Him and saying, "ok, you changed me yesterday and last night, now I want and need you to change me more. It's probably gonna hurt some and be inconvenient, but here I am." I want to say that, I want to mean that, I want to be that. Help us to be that.
I feel like most of us are really bad at change - even those of us who say we are good at change... yeah not really. I think some of it comes out of our western view of independence, and some of it comes out of our human view of comfort and experience. I could go on and explain lots of things and babble, but the short version is this.
When we get together on Sunday mornings, do we come and expect to experience the presence of Him? Seriously? Do you go expecting to experience the presence of Him, or do you go because you should and it's a repetition. I found myself many times just thinking about what's next, what will I do after. Even at cru, sometimes I just wanted to make it through and everything go alright. But "just making it through" is not what we have a meeting for, it's not why it was created, it's not why we are created. No one puts that much time and effort into something to just make it through, or for tradition sake. He didn't. We didn't. We shouldn't.
I also find this the case not only on Sunday mornings, but many times in my every morning. As I crack open the Book - I find myself fighting the urge and idea that I have to do it, or I should do it, or that it's in my routine and just get some good time in and then you can move on. I have to ask for the desire to do it, I ask for not just the desire but also that I would experience Him and His fullness. Each time I open the Book, I bow my head, I lift my eyes, I ask my heart would be turned and my attention gathered and His presence come down not that it would just be something I do, but it would be a real encounter.
Then the next question is, if we do go to experience the presence of Him, do you, and does it cause you to change afterwords. I'm not so sure we can experience His presence and not be changed. So many times we want to feel Him. We feel Him, then we continue back to do things the way we were doing them.
Maybe that's a joy of living in a foreign country is that it's much easier to stay flexible. You have to. Well, you can become rigid and stiff, you can stick to your own ways, but you'll end up clashing more with the culture and those around you and just not getting to experience the fullness of the culture where you are. You can't live in America while really living in China. You must change. -- As we're adapting to our New Creation Culture... how often do you still try to stay the same? How often do we want to treat people the same? talk the same way? act the same way? have the same habbits? watch the same shows? collect the same things? listen to the same music? give the same amount of money? read the same amount of the Book? look at people the same way? stay in our comfortable area because change is just too inconvient for us? I've done it this way for however many years now, why shouldn't I continue to do it.
I can't imagine how annoying it must be to Him when He sees us continue to do this. In my English classes, one thing we go over is Chinglish (Chinese + English; things that when translated aren't correct.) An example of this, "I very like it." The sentence structure is different in Chinese, so I told them this and showed them the right way to say it, "I really like it" or "I like it very much" or "I like it alot." Then it's a little frustrating after 10 min of explaining this to give them a practice dialog and here "I very like it" flow out like it's correct. I know they understood, we covered it, they agreed to it, they practiced saying it, they repeated it back to me... then they went on and went back to the old way because they didn't want to change/change is hard. I give them grace and some buffer time to work it out of their vocabulary, but after a while - if they're not changing what I've taught them and reminded them of... what's the point of me teaching them any more? How can they take it in and take in more if they don't apply the first things?
So it kind of comes down to it like this... when we get together as a Family, when we open the Book, when we physically get on our knees, do we expect to experience the presence of our Father and out of that experience are we changed forever? When the time is over, are we walking in the new change that He is bringing? Think about this: the next time you open your Book or go to Fellowship, are you asking "Let me experience You and Know you so that I will be changed for all of eternity due to what is about to happen?"
I want to be the soft clay, ready and malleable - everyday. Coming before Him and saying, "ok, you changed me yesterday and last night, now I want and need you to change me more. It's probably gonna hurt some and be inconvenient, but here I am." I want to say that, I want to mean that, I want to be that. Help us to be that.
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