"Apart From Me, You Can Do Nothing"

It’s easy to say, it’s harder sometimes for me to believe, and it’s even harder for me to keep in practice. Abide. That’s what He says, abide. Abide- “to dwell.” To abide in Him means continually spending time with Him, but not just logging in your hours, it means to listen, to follow, to change your course of action to follow His plan and desires – that’s how you stay with Him. Surprisingly, the word or concept of “compromise” was not in this definition like I often try to put it. He calls us to come and die to our thoughts, plans, and dreams, not to come and bring our negotiations to the table. Why would the one who knows the good and perfect way need my input on how to make it better?

I'm leaving what I have behind to follow One who knows better. I don’t think it’s this strict “get over yourself” type of attitude, but I thinks because He knows better and I don’t. It’s that I cannot pour out what I have not received. The Love I give is only an overflow of what I am given. In this current stage, I feel as if I'm lacking in Love, I'm not loving Him the way I should and therefore not able to Love those around me the way I could. His Love is not contingent upon my actions, there’s nothing I can do to make Him Love me any more or less. There’s nothing you can do to make Him love you any more or less. But, our actions allow us to experience it more, to draw close to His heart, to feel the warmth of His embrace. Then, it’s the overflow of that joy and Love that we can Love Him and turn and pour out.

“Ok good, that makes sense, but why do you say all of this” you may be asking. Yes, I’m in China. Yes, I’m trying to serve Him. Yes, I’ve given up a year of my life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to give up my days, my evenings, my mornings, my hours, my minutes to Him.

A few days ago, I was talking to a few friends on Skype about Him and what I was learning and it began to click. I just wasn’t Loving Him well. I was trying to Love my teammates, I was trying to Love my officemates, I was trying to Love the students, but I wasn’t Loving Him first. I was reading in the morning and in the evening, thinking vertically, but I wasn’t listening. “In his heart a man plans his course, but [He] determines his steps.” I wasn’t giving Him my steps, my full day’s attention, listening as to how I could love Him first, and as I sat there, He began to show me how.

It was like my wife was sitting behind me and I was too busy talking on the computer to everyone else rather than with her. I was talking about her and about the time we had had together, but I wasn’t just spending that time really adoring her, really showing her my affection. I would talk to her before I went to bed, like a routine step before I went to sleep, a quick kiss on the cheek and rolling over to go to sleep. No Love, no affection, no yearning of my heart for her, no just staring at her while my head was on the pillow telling her how much I love her, how much I just love being with her. There was no thankfulness for her being there with me. As it was, there was no affection shown to Him either. No words saying, “I love you, I love just being here with you. Thank you for being here with me.” (I know I’m young and not married and have a lot to learn, but I think some nights, I’m going to want to get off the computer, turn off the TV, stop doing work, and just go to bed early to lay down and just sit in silence with my bride.) In the same way, I want to put it all away just to go spend time in silence with Him, just listening and Loving.

A few days ago, I started a new quiet time book. It’s a 40-day book that challenges you to fast from something for 40 days as you put that time into honestly seeking Him and Loving Him. After thinking and asking about what it was that I could fast, there was only one answer, my blog. I tried the compromise technique of not doing it as often, or giving up other things, but giving up the blog is the answer I kept getting. I know it’s not logical- it’s good for me to get to share with all of you what’s going on, it’s good for me to get to keep in mind what it is that He’s doing, it’s good for you to see what it is that you’re a part of, it’s good for us both to grow closer to Him, and it’s good for me to let you know how you can lift us up. Yeah, I’m afraid that if I don’t keep you connected then you might forget about me and not ask Him for help as much (an honest fear)…. But with all the reasons I threw out there, I had the same response: Abide. Apart from me you can do nothing. I’m not always logical, but I know what’s better for you. You do not know what this will do for both you and for them if you obey me. “The beauty is in the obedience.”

So I am being obedient. I ask this of you: over the next 40 days that you would join with me even more, that together, we would seek Him. Take the time you would spend normally reading this and talk to Him. Ask Him how you can lift us up (He knows better than I do anyways). But along with that, lets seek Him together. Really, really seek Him. To put aside something for 40 days and put Him in that place. Together, as we seek Him rather than seeking to do something, to be productive, to be effective, to be powerful, but just seeking Him – then the Love with overflow. We say seek a lot, but another term is "to actively pursue." The J-man, used the idea of a lost sheep, or a lost coin, or a lost son; what if we searched like we lost our cell phone, our pay check, or an expensive gift someone had let us borrow and they were coming over to get it back - using that type of desperation to pursue Him, and with the Love and affection and passion of trying to woo the girl of your dreams to be yours. That's what I want us to do, to be, to join together in.

I’ll still be using email, so feel free to email me (I might be a little slow returning it, but will get to it asap). I’ll still be on Facebook and Skype occasionally, if you’d like to try to get a hold of me there or check out any new pictures I get posted. The keys is not just “to not do something” but it’s to take that time and effort and heart put into it and spend it Loving Him in the process. So I hope you’ll join me.

I want you to know how much I love you all and how much I appreciate every one of you. I look forward to sharing with you more in emails, and newsletters, and in 40 days back on this blog, if that plan works out. Thank you and I love you (but not as much as He does.)

Abram