Burning Grass

When I first walked outside and saw this fresh black coat I thought. Hmm. It looks like nice smooth area of the rubber in astrograss. That's pretty.... wait... that's supposed to be grass! As I got closer I saw that it was grass...but burnt.

The next day I walked to my office to see this sight:


The workers at school were setting all the grass on fire. All the grass. It wasn't by rebellion or frustration. It was very controlled as they stomped out the grass near the bushes and threw buckets of water near to prevent it from coming any further.


The fire swept through the different areas but not out of control. It's odd but only a few things are out of reach.


It's interesting to see fire sweep through a campus intentionally controlled. Some people say that its so that the grass will grow back and give it nutrients. Others told me it was to kill the insects that are in the grass. I dont know.

When we said and asked for the campus to be set on fire... I'm pretty sure this isn't what we had in mind.


Yet, I will take it. From the brokenness comes beauty. From the ashes rises restoration. Out of death comes life. Like a kernel of wheat that falls to the ground it must die otherwise it will just be a single seed. If it dies then it will produce many seeds.

So on our campus we're left with black grass temporarily while we wait new green grass to come in thicker and show growth. We're in a time of dying waiting for the life to burst forth producing more and more seeds. There's always more to come. After every winter there comes Spring. The longer the winter the more glorious the Spring comes.


To end I'll leave you with a quote that I found by J.R.R. Tolkien found twice in his LOTR series. I'm not sure exactly what it means. But this late at night, it's intriguing and possibly applicable.

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

It's Re-Alive Day!

"It's Re-Alive Day" as my new found English speaking friend told me as we watched performances on Sunday morning. Easter is 复活节 (fu huo jie) which literally translated means "Resurrection Day". Pretty cool, hu? Well this Easter was much different than others. Due to a national test that almost all of the students had to take, I found myself walking to the fellowship by myself. Curiously, I thought, "I'm going by myself. I dont understand Chinese. Why am I going? I can stay here and listen to a message online and be more encouraged." But I felt the need to go so I went.


After the main/normal part of the sermon the performances started - about 45 minutes of different singing, dancing, instruments. Then it was time for an intermission. As you see in the pictures - Chinese people go all out with performances with costumes/outfits choreography and all. They celebrate at every chance they get - and why not celebrate the best day of the year with performances? I dont know why not.



The women in the top picture nearly blocking the stage are servers. After the 45 minutes of performances it was lunch time. The fellowship served the few hundred people packed in for the service all lunch. I know the Son did it with a few fish and bread loves, but I was still impressed with this little fellowship rolling out so much rice.

I'm sitting about 1/3 of the way back in this picture and each person got a container of rice, some noddles, chicken, potatoes, and other food I dont know what it was. Impressed? Yes!


They also gave us each an egg with a passage or blessing on it. My new friend who came to sit down next to me during the service told me it translated as "Happy Happy Always Happy" but in that translation you could tell there were supposed to be more words with a greater depth to it. Either way, I was blessed by their hospitality and generocity.

To end the day our two teams combined/our mega-team (16 people) combined to have an Easter dinner with American food. (One more reason to celebrate). We divided and conquered.Deviled eggs are usually my specialty (since I know/learned how to make them) but this year Ashley had a special idea for them so we tagged team them.

Can you see the little chicks coming out of their shells?

Ok. Technically the eyes are supposed to be made out of olives. But they dont have olives in China so we improvised with bread crust.

Finally, we ended our night listening to a message and having some awesome w.ship. Some of the girls even did a performance (body worship) to an awesome song. Ironically enough, it was lead by one of our teammates whose Chinese-American. :)

Hope your blessed and knocked off your rocker by His goodness and conquering ability. I have another story about our Boy taking serving roles and performing at a special night with the College Group. But I'll save that for later. I'll leave you with one final thought about Easter:

Easter is the ultimate trump card to death. No matter how many times it strikes, we can turn to this day and say "Nope, see. We still win."

You can find out about our Easter Egg Hunt with students and pictures at I got one.

I got one!

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

This past Wednesday and Thursday the lawn space in front of the foreign teacher building has been crawling with Chinese students frantically searching and occasionally jumping up and down. Why? What did they lose?

Nothing. They're searching for what they never had to start with. (hmm... interesting tie there). There searching for one of the 50 hard boiled Easter eggs freshly cooked up in dining hall 2. (Which is interesting to try to explain needing 50 eggs from the dining hall workers. They try to give you 5 thinking your Chinese is bad, then 3, then are utterly confused what and how you'll deal with 50.)

As part of Ashley's English corner explaining the purpose and reason for Easter, she also brought in some other Easter traditions. This included an 7 min walk from the classroom over to the yard area where 4 other foreign teachers had stashed the 50 eggs high and low for students to find.

Some of the student had never heard of this Holiday before and definitely hadn't had an Easter egg hunt before, but they were loving it and doing it quite well. Some students near sprinted around looking for eggs while others meandered around in a state of confusion as to what was going on.


Of course, the Chinese collective mentality kicked in so it was important everyone have one weather they found it or not. They also had to work together to get some of the "higher" eggs. (Ok, to be honest. I put a few up in the trees so they had to work for it... I forgot the fact that most of the students on our campus are short, tiny little Chinese girls. Needless to say a few times they had to call over the taller student to help or as you see demonstrated two or three girls hoist another one up to grab it.

Every student had at least one, but they were still competitive. Three students were quite proud of their 5 egg hand and giggled as they presented them for the final group picture. So many giggles. I'm glad the snow stopped last week so we could have an egg hunt.

One more reason to celebrate - no where near the best reason tho.

Painting All Things New

Making a decision is kind of like painting a picture. There are many factors, colors, brushes, circumstances, pieces, people, ideas, and possibilities that go into making each decision. We use these different aspects in different ways and consider them all to make the picture that we want. Each picture is part of a bigger picture. Or life is not always a series of different pictures, but perhaps one large picture with many intricate details, layers the build upon each other, and subtleties that only a few people will draw near enough to notice.

This idea popped into my head this morning after a unique night. (I've been sleeping with my lamp on next to my bed. I realized I have really weird/bad dreams if the light was off. I thought I was just afraid of the dark until I realized that my old teammate who lived here last year had the same issue. No lights - bad dreams; lights on - no bad dreams. I remembered that last year I never slept with the light on so I began to put the pieces together that something else was in this room that didn't like the light. It's just one of those things that I got used to but probably shouldn't have. Last night the light bulb popped and burnt out as I headed to bed. Oh crap. "Do you trust me?" I heard Him say. Its an opportunity for faith. Do I rebuke what's in the room and count on G coming through or do I go find another light bulb? I felt the sense of fear come over me as the idea of what was lurking waiting to rush in in the night to bother me. I should go get a light bulb... but wait. "Do you trust me?" Yes...I think so.

As I stood there in the middle of my room two thoughts were going through my head, the fear of evil surging and coming into my room and the peace that He is stronger and He says "Use my Name, rebuke it, and I will take care of it." I went back and forth before I realized that He doesn't use fear to direct us. The Book says that "Perfect Love casts out fear." (1John4:18) Fear isn't from Him. He gives warning, but not with the fear that things aren't going to be okay. He told us "fear not" 365 times in His love letter to us. "He did not give us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control." (2 Tim. 1:7) He's not in the scaring business, He's in the restoring and painting new life business. (I think we need to change our view of Him. Apologizing for accepting the lie that He gives us fear in situations. (Fear of God is different. When you fear God, you're not afraid that He's going to strike evil and wrath on you - that's not His character to do that. For those who are in JC, JC has taken all of the wrath and has defeated evil. He now lives in us. We don't need to fear and honestly give the evil one too much attention when we do.) He brings life, promises, and glory to His name. But doesn't use fear to get us to do something.

Fear is considering something is bigger and has more control than G does. Worrying is doubting G is good and has the best for us and is in control. We need to, I need to remember His character and who He's said He is and how He's proven it.

So fear is a massive paint brush that we tend to use. Unfortunately, you can't control it well and it blocks off large parts of the canvas. It makes chunks of paint in odd places. It smears beautiful little details so intricately placed by the master artist. It messes up the process He's working with. Yes, He can fix them, but He never intended to be using fear to guide you. He's not a G of threats and fear. He's a G of patience and power and love.

As I fell asleep did I have any fear? Yes. To be honest, I still had fear. But I knew He was asking me to trust Him and I wrote these things as I fell asleep: J, I trust in you because you've came through. You've always came through. You've never not come through. So why should I not trust you? J here I am. I trust you. Please come through and protect me. Awaken me with rest and with increased affections for You. For Your Holy Name J we pray and ask in Your name. Amen.

I awoke without being bothered in the night, with good dreams, and the thought:

Fear (of lacking) is never a brush to be used to make decisions.
I make all things new again.

Good Friday.

Another question students keep asking me is "J died on Friday? Why do you call it GOOD Friday?" It's a good question. The hero and whole point of our basis of religion is brutally murdered and we call it good? If you only know the physical side - it's horrible. The Father gave me two succinct points to answer Easter and I wanted to share them.

We celebrate Easter because
1) J died the death that we dont have to, (He took the death penalty we were waiting to take).
2) He came back to life proving He can bring life after death to those who trust in Him.


It's simple, yet the point. He's so good. Today, 2,000ish years ago was so bad.

Last night, we got to watch "The Passion" with our guys study group. A few of us had seen it before, a few of them had seen parts of it before they were believers so now it was completely different. It's so good to see, yet so painful. I sat balled up in my chair with all my muscles tense. At times I wanted to jump in and push them all back, at other times I just cried and apologized over and over again, still at other times I just thought what a Man, and some others I found myself just begging Him to get to the cross so it could be over soon.

After saying what I said all week and knowing what I know, it's hard to see this and still not go...why? "For the joy set before him [He] endured the cross" (Heb12:2) Joy? Wow. Me? Wow. How do I respond to that? Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race set before us. I... have previously... I still am too selfish to lay this aside. I mean looking at what J did and for me? for joy? I think my run is pretty pathetic. Not in a condemning way but in a - lets step it up. Quit jogging halfheartedly, let me show you how to run now.

I hope today I get to run. Run with joy. Run with the joy set before me. Run hard. Run joyfully. Run with Him. It's Good Friday and I want it to not just be "another Good Friday" but I want this one to change my perception of what Good Friday really is. Let us run hard and love great (which invites the opportunity to suffer first and then continue to Love). Strengthen my heart and my mind and somehow in Your power Love them through me. Then it's a Good Day.

The Little Things p2

I'm convinced we don't enjoy the little things enough in life.

I'm also convinced that I'm very easily amused and I have no problem with that.

I'm further convinced that the Father likes to love me with those little things (why I'm ok with number 2.)

Due to the Chinese Holiday of Tomb Sweeping Festival we have 3 days off. That doesn't mean 3 days plus the weekend, it means 3 days off - Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. So Saturday becomes Monday classes and Sunday becomes Tuesday classes. Unfortunately, I have 5 out of my 8 classes on Monday and Tuesday. This means that instead of teaching 8 classes for 5 days in a row, I taught 13 classes for 7 days in a row. It had been a rough week not just teaching wise, but with sp. attack too. Don't feel sorry for me, I'm just explaining I was pooped.

As I finally walked back to my apartment I heard the popping and scraping I hadn't heard in a long, long time. My senses awakened and suddenly jerked back into reality.

What was that?!



I looked down to see a 5 inch stick/twig in front of me. That's awesome! I was suddenly filled with joy. (Apparently nature is a little more important to me than I realized. Living in a city of 7 million people, sometimes I miss nature and dont' really realize it.) I just loved the innocence of kicking a stick down the road and enjoying it. I loved the sound of a hollow stick bouncing and dragging along the sidewalk. My normal 3 min stretch of the journey ended up taking about 10 min to make it back as I zig-zagged all over chasing down my stick as I kicked it along.

I say all of this to enjoy the Father knowing us so well and giving us little things to show us He cares. I Ask that He would give and you would find the little things so relieving too.

We are a fickle people.

fick·le/ˈfikəl/ Adjective: Changing frequently, esp. as regards one's loyalties, interests, or affection.

I had the awesome opportunity to teach on Easter these last two days. The Father gave me two different avenues to share it - with Freshman we used "Chapter 8 -Parties & Celebrations" and with Sophomores, we used "Chapter 9 -Law, Crime, Punishment."

As I told tried to tell the story in a short succinct way, I hit a mental speed bump that nearly stopped me in class. Then my students caught it too and asked, "Why did the people celebrate Him as King then want to kill Him in the same week? What did He do?" Fickle.

I'm reading through Luke at an extremely slow pace and learning a lot. When J comes into Nazareth (the word is already spreading out and he's being "glorified by all"), He announces His ministry by reading this bold passage from Isaiah claiming He was the messiah. Then watch this - same verse, two sentences: "And all spoke well of him and marveled at the gracious words that were coming from his mouth. And they said "Is this not Josephs son?" In an instant they went from adoration to critical. The same paragraph, 7 verses later "they rose up and drove him out of the down and brought him to the brow of the hill on which their town was built, so that they could throw him down the cliff." Fickle.

Four months ago, I hadn't bought my plane ticket to go to India and didn't have resolute plans (for a month later) but I still felt the Father saying wait. Then one night, I felt him say "go check the flights" as I was headed to bed. I complained but checked and found on one day a 2000 rmb drop in price. All of the flights lined up and we made it to 2 other countries and back for about the same price as everyone else spent going to our meeting and back. Now I sit anxious to know about next years plans, slightly frustrated I haven't done anything or got an answer yet. Wondering if I'm going to miss the boat. Fickle.

As I typed out the definition of fickle from Google's dictionary, it seemed to hit even deeper.

esp. as regards one's loyalties, interests, or affection.

Oh, how I love You one moment and half an hour later are fighting to have my own way. How I fall asleep surrendering and wake up with my to do list buzzing. I make a promise and am determined to keep it for at least the next 10 minutes. I feel the world in it's right place as I sit with the Word open writing and absorbing what He's speaking - but somehow between this chair and the door my fickelness seems to kick in. Fickle. Fickle. Fickle.

I'm slightly comforted to know I'm not the only one as I read throughout the OT seeing His people time after time forget what He's done and go plow their own way/doubt/fear/sell themselves/prostitute themselves out. On the other hand, as I hear "everyone deals with this at some point" my heart breaks for the Father. He deserves better than this. I was kinda hoping it was just me so that He had people who were be more convinced and faithful than I to worship Him and give Him what He deserves. Is anyone else frustrated at our own fickleness? Even in writing this I've got distracted - wrote two emails and read another blog entry. Fickle!

Resolute. That's what I want to be. Resolute.

res·o·lute/ˈrezəˌlo͞ot/ Adjective: Admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.

Thanks to the Galatians who got carried away in their own "do it yourself" will and Matt Chandler who broke this open last night for us in a podcast - I learned/was reminded how it's not our determination but our faith. (Gal 3:1-9) Our determination sucks. It's the Spirit who is in you who now makes you perfect, fixes you, makes you not like your old self anymore. It's the Spirit who works in you and it's by Faith that it happens. Not what you do but what you believe - even what you believe is a gift. So Ask for more. Resolute.

Forgetting what's behind, OT peoples mistakes, my own lackings and fickleness, the generations before us and those others who surround us who have made similar mistakes, I press on. I search forward. I want to follow those who follow JC. I want to seek Him out and watch how they practically do it. I want to be resolute. I ask for forgiveness for the past, forget it, and press on in Faith to let the Spirit make me resolute.

Make us resolute not that we may boast but that You may have a people who will w.ship you appropriately and give you what you deserve (or at least something much closer to what you deserve then what we're currently giving). Increase our love for you and make us more - Resolute.