Maybe He's Bigger Than I Thought

http://vimeo.com/32001208 <-- Watch this video.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:9

I read this and think "Yeah, ok." Which really at any point that you pretend that you've got the meaning of the Book, you realize you really have no idea.

I look at this with amazement and am like "Wow. That's what we look like? We're beautiful. We're awesome!"

Then a small awe sweeps over me, and my heart forgets to beat as I realize

This is what He see's.

This video really helps me the Father as more of a reality. This is what He actually sees. It's not a picture or a animation or an idea of what it could be this is it. He sees this from this perspective. He sees above and beyond this. He has the sight to see galaxies away and is only a step away from being there. Yet He see's past these clouds, past the green lights He set in motion to dance across the surface, past the blare of the city lights and sees into our world. My world.

In Psalms 138, David writes that the all the kings of the earth will say, ""How great the glory of God!" And here's why: "God, high above, sees far below; no matter the distance, he knows everything about us."" The very next chapter He goes to say "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the day sthat were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Before I was born, You already had each of my days written in Your book. How intimate is someone so much greater. Does my heart know how do deal with this?

We see in the video these flashes of white like flash photography at sporting event, yet these are storms so devastating that people cry out for salvation. These storms that are so overwhelming to us are but a slight flash in the side of a ball that He looks at. How great is our God? He boasts to Job "Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm?...Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?""(38:25/35). The world is like one of those plasma nebula balls/electric balls we see at science stores - where you put your hands the electric lights move to. For this is His power in all the earth. No batteries needed.

It's such an odd concept to think about. I mean it took us 6000+ years to get a running stream of what we look like - and this is the view that He has as He sits back and rests. That this Being that is so far above and beyond our imagination and so much stronger in power than what we can fathom looks affectionately at us. He looks affectionately at us. That the Father looked at this spinning thing He created affectionately and said, "Ok Son, I'm sending you there." He looked at these storms and these lights, He looked into the depths of the utterly most disgusting parts of the human soul and said, "...and I love them." He looked our hearts, my full of inconsistencies, insecurities, lack of faith, altering heart and says "Yeah, I love that because I created it. I created it to be better than that. I'm going to restore it." His love comes down heavy and hard.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love towards those who fear him;" - Psalms 103:11

Interesting that the Bible uses the comparison "as far as the heavens are above the earth" twice. Once it's to describe how much bigger and smarter God is than us, and the second time is to try to explain how much He loves us. Which makes sense thinking about Psalms 62:11-12 "One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done."

One thing He said, "I am strong and I am loving." I guess that's pretty much what we should know, right?

I think I may spend the rest of my life trying to understand those two things - How strong and how loving?

I may spend the rest of my life, but I want to live as if I knew the answer today.

Just a thought or two.

Song #138

I give thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;
before the gods I sing your praise;
I bow down towards your holy temple
and give thanks to your name for your
steadfast love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.
On the day I called, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased.

All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord,
for they have heard the words of your mouth,
and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord,
for great is the glory of the LORD.
For though the LORD is high, he regards the lowly,
but the haughty he knows from afar.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies
and your right hand delivers me.
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O LORD, endures for ever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.

-An unoriginal by Abram Goff

How does He feel about me?

Click this video and let it start to load as you read the blog:

You Are Beautiful

Last year, I had the overwhelming lesson that I am His. Although this year it seems like that’s a difficult concept to grasp. When I read the Word, and as I walk throughout my day, I hear more and more of the things I’m not doing. I often feel like the Father’s forehead meets the palm of His hand with a deep sigh when He thinks about me or watches me. Hearing “why aren’t you just doing it? Can’t you try a little harder? How come everyone else can do it, but you can’t seem to do it right? You need to spend more time with me, more time. It’s not enough. If you want breakthrough you need to spend more time on your knees, fast more, read more, spend more time!” Then I’m reminded of often the struggle to stay awake during my knee time and the empty readings in the morning – as if it’s a promise that it’s going to happen again and nothing will work. This bad taste in my mouth is left for seemingly all of the things of Him reading and falling asleep – the feeling of not getting what I should be getting, Thinking but not listening well – and not getting what I was supposed to be Thinking for, fasting but suffering the pains of hunger without focusing my time on Him or having any real connection with Him, getting away to be left out of other things and being useless here.

Then there’s the personal characteristics. You act so immature. You’re not really a good teacher, sure you made it through last year, but you’re fading this year. It’s actually going worse. I’m not sure you’re going to make it through. You should probably quit. You’re not even having good conversations with people like you used to. Why don’t you listen and do the right thing? Your student’s don’t really like you this year, they don’t understand you, all your tricks you used for the first year have grown old and now they don’t care. You have nothing left to offer. You’re stagnant so that what you are giving out is stagnant too.

So many things laced with so much guilt and shame and needed effort to try harder. Once I’m able to annunciate it, I know it’s not from Him… but that doesn’t mean I still don’t hear that voice a lot. It’s hard not to believe all these bad things about you when you hear them all the time. The evil one will use the Truth and add in his own versions and ingredients and send it back to us. Although there is truth in that, this is not the way the Father speaks to us. It’s not due to guilt because we’re not doing enough. He says it’s by grace we’re saved, by faith that we’re justified, and everything we do is because of the Son living in us.

My teammate see’s this divine conversation in a much different way than I often hear. She says “His heart is moved and rejoices even when we spend one minute with Him. Because He loves us so much, He rejoices when we whisper His name or simply turn out hearts towards Him.” He calls us to Him because He loves us and asks for more time because His heartbreaks without outs. (His heart broke enough that He moved the Heavens to come be made flesh on earth to make a way to unite us.) He calls us because He loves us – like a lover waiting for their loved one to come home so they can spend time together talking and loving each other and He can give her the presents/presence He has for her. I often find see Him though as a cold school teacher or coach waiting for you in the classroom or gym ready to rag on me for not studying hard enough or putting enough time in. “Other people were in here. They put time in. Look at them. …and you’re supposed to be a leader. Pssh. Get in there and get to work. I don’t have time for this.”

This has carried out even into my classroom. What we receive and hear is what we will pass on: good or bad, forgiveness or shame, love or

I keep hearing and focusing what I’m “doing” or “not doing” for and with the Father. This gets carried out as I focus on my students English level. I want it to improve so much that I’ve separated the English level from the person and I focus on the English level. I often get frustrated at the person because they’re not trying or they don’t understand or they’re not listening. But if I realized that the Father rejoices about even one time that I turn my heart to Him then I would be ecstatic when they turn and listen to me or even try to speak in English. I separate the person and what’s going on in their life to just “improve their English, it’s what they need” and it becomes again about what they’re doing and the tools they have rather than the person – just like it becomes about what I’m doing for Him and the gifts He’s given/taken away from me rather than just the fact that He loves me and rejoices when we spend time together.

Even know I know this fact, it’s a hard thing to rewire into my brain. I ask that you lift me up and really our team in this, but really all believers everywhere. That we would remember that He loves us and we’re driven to Him because He’s calling with open arms for an embrace not a guilty look and a raised hand. He poured out all of His wrath for me on the Son. He has no guilt for me. There is no guilt in the Son. There is no condemnation. We have freedom and a relationship. Conviction only leads us to experience His love better. I want this and need it. My students need it. My teammates need it. This country needs it. This world needs it. Please ask that we all (including you) see the Father for the Father and not as a twisted version we are taught or told.

You can go back and enjoy the video now. It’s a “Spoken Word” piece by a guy that goes to my old teammates new school back in the States. I’ve watched it probably 12 times in the last 24 hours. It’s awesome. Hope you enjoy and realize that you are beautiful.

Beautiful

If you haven't seen this yet. Click it.

It is more than well worth your time.
I may have already posted it, but I'm going to post it again due to the massive amount of truth in it.

You Are Beautiful


Enjoy.

Guess it's time for the big coat...

I woke up Sunday morning to this blinding white being my view. The day before we were playing soccer outside. Grant it, it was cold, but I never imagined this outside. It dropped 3 or 4 inches in one night.

I saw waving and down below were 7 other crazy Americans outside at 7:15 in the morning in fullish snow gear. "It's a snow day!" one yelled, "we're not doing anything today!" I love having teammates who haven't seen snow before. (Well, they've seen it in the mountains, but not like it's not here...it's here!) It's awesome to see the joy and excitement. It's like, Oh yeah, this is how I'm supposed to be enjoying it.


So the snowball match began, revolutionary war style. We didn't stay in lines very long and it became much more active.

Our crazy southern California girls who were taking it all in wanted to be under the tree as someone shook it. It wasn't quite the peaceful snow falling, or the animated flump on their heads but we all enjoyed it.

Who needs a sled when you've got teammates? The run, drag, and release technique worked pretty well. After an hour of me playing (2 hours for them), I said that you HAVE to finish playing in the snow with hot chocolate. That launched into the further idea of breakfast!

With a box of pancake mix, 20 eggs, and lots of vegetables the kitchen was smelling good in no time. What started as my idea and me offering turned into these lovely ladies, (Emily, Courtney, and Kelley) cooking up a storm in my apartment. ... I guess I got a good deal out of it.

The breakfast of champions involved 3 types of eggs and vegetables, pancakes, homemade peanut butter, milk, hot chocolate, M&Ms, and Reeses. (Thanks to our supporters for all the chocolate products mentioned).

After eating to our hearts delight and cleaning up, I sat down at my desk to show some pictures and do some work. Then I heard the banging of shovels.... Oh no I thought.

Turns out not everyone was enjoying the snow day as much as we were. The students had been called and classes assigned to different sections of campus. Students are sent out with shovels and brooms to clean off the snow from the roads and sidewalks. At least this year they have shovels instead of wooden signs.

Happy Snow Day!

Help Someone Call 119!

It's one of those small differences in culture.
When we're in trouble we call 911!
In China they call 119!

Although, it sounds like a satirical play on American culture, I promise it's for real. To help celebrate awareness on November 9 (11/9), students put up their signs in the middle of campus for all to see as they went to class or lunch. Here are a few of those signs.






Although, I think all of the signs are pretty good, this one wins my artistic award for it's detail on the dog. Plus, I like the fact that the word "Firefighter" is in English on the dog's helmet. haha.

Just Another Monday Teaching English in China

Ok... maybe it wasn't "just another Monday" it was Halloween. I told my Monday class the week before to be prepared for next week because there was something special. (Really, I was just hyping it up because they usually come to class flat and I was trying to get them excited.) Except at 7:04 on Monday morning, I had forgotten all about Halloween until another teacher mentioned it during our morning lift time.  "Oh crap!" I yelled as I scrambled to find some sort of costume and candy for my class.

I looked into my closet and what did I see hanging there but the good ole blue, yellow, and red. With my normal dress clothes, a little hair gel, and my teammates glasses, Clark Kent was ready for class that day. Just thought you might enjoy the quick story.

Happy Halloween.