I was getting worried for a min...

Changchun got me again. I started thinking it was spring. It fooled me with 3 consecutive days of 50+ degree weather. It got a little cooler 2 days ago when it went back to the 40-ish range. Still not enough to make me put my big coat or long johns back on. I was proud.

Yesterday, I walked out the door for my 3 classes on Saturday (odd Chinese tradition for making up classes for holidays) and I see a new blanket of 3 inches of snow. "Oh...this is new." I turned back around and decided it was time for the big coat "just in case."

Fast Forward to the end of the day. Long day. Rough day. I had went to a local coffee shop to continue my lesson planning marathon of today's classes. Apparently in those 5 short hours, Changchun decided to drop another few inches. I walked outside again and was like "oh... surprise!" (Glad I got my big coat.)

I went to the supermarket on campus to get something to eat about 9pm and heard shouts and yelling. I looked at the nearby track/soccer field to see this.



It made me so happy. I saw kids (college students) throwing snow balls and laughing and giggling. There was about 40 or so just standing in a pack in the middle of the field wanting to participate but too cold to move. Others ran around splashing the new snow on each other. I could relax. This is what college should be more like - granted they probably all just came from studying in their classrooms for their 6:30-8:30 evening class each night, but still. They should be enjoying life and they were taking it in. I was too cold and too tired and too hungry to join in but it did my heart good to see them enjoying the joy and excitement that is supposed to come with the newly fallen snow. It's what dancing in grace is all about.

India: Take a picture of me!

In China, I'm used to people coming up and asking to take a picture with me, it's the foreign charm that we have. haha. No really it's the eccentricity that we are that makes us appealing. In India, they don't want to take a picture with us, they want us to take a picture of them.

It's kind of odd. Most of these people I never saw again, but just one time passing by and they wanted their picture taken. They didn't want it emailed to them; many of them didn't even want to see it after it was over. I'm confused, but it was popular trend and pretty funny.

These three love birds stopped me on Valentines day as I was taking pictures of the street and wanted their picture taken. They asked if I had a date and I said no I was just visiting. They started giving me a hard time until I asked them if they had a date. They said "Yes we have a date..." then realized they were supposed to be going to pick up their dates and were late. They then rushed off.


A market vendor who just wanted his picture taken with his brother/friend.... I dont know.


This man was proud of his water carrying skills and wanted the picture shown off.


He stopped me then refused to smile. I dont understand but he liked it and laughed afterwards.


This guys friends pulled me from the street to take a picture of him. He wouldn't look at the camera but they all cracked up after I took the picture.


This guy was our waiter at one of our favorite places to eat. He definitely had a thing for Ashley though...


These guys were on a trolly that was driving past as we walked down the street. Yet they called out to me and wanted their picture taken. They encouraged me to run and catch up to take their picture. They were cracking up. Yes, I hurried to catch up but anything to bring a smile to their faces.


Happy Valentines Day! This guy was another waiter at a different restaurant but when he saw I had my camera brought me over to their archway to take a picture. When the flash wasn't on, we couldn't see his face so we had to change batteries to get the flash on so we could see him...yet, he still didn't smile. Happy Valentines Day!

Flash Boil:

Today has been a long day. It’s naturally my longest day with classes but so much has happened I’ve got to give you a quick rundown of good news and interesting things.

During class I was recapping what we had talked about last week (foods and restaurants) and we had discussed weird/strange foods they’ve eaten. (Donkey, locusts, grasshoppers, dog, frog legs, and pig skin/face were all answers.) This week we were discussing chores and common chores in America. #6 on the list was “feed the dog.” I introduced it to them this way: “Here’s a cultural point. In America, we feed the dog; in China, you eat the dog.” The class erupted into laughter as I give some of them a hard time about eating dog (not all do.)

12:15pm I’m sitting in my office trying to refix and replan my lesson plan…again after the first two run through of it. Next thing I know my officemate Claire is telling me about her time in junior high school studying. How hard it is to be a teacher. She flips the switch out of the blue and starts encouraging me telling me that I’m a good teacher and she really enjoyed watching my class. (last week 8 Chinese teachers, professors, deans and assistant deans observed my class – nervous? YEP!) “Do you think living in China has changed your view and goals for life?”(I’ll abbreviate the rest of the convo since much more happened today) “I can’t live the same. Before I lived ignorantly of so many things. I had heard stories but I hadn’t met the people, seen it for myself, been part of the stories. There’s just so many things that aren’t right. I’ve got to learn a lot about The Father lately and as I see how good He is, then I turn and look at the world He created – I know this isn’t the way He created it to be. So the more time I spend with Him, the more I want to go to these places that I know aren’t the way He created them to be and help fix them to be better.” “Wow, you really have thought about this,” she replied. We went on to talk about many other things until I was nearly late for class. She said she would look up some more words then we could finish the conversation later. J

3:52pm finished classes and met up with my old teammate Jesse who teaches independently at a training school an hour away. We got to talk and honestly share where we were about going home. We went out to our patented Monday night Korean place to get the same thing each time and on our way back found a cotton candy vendor alongside the road. Yes please. After deciding to get 2 for our girls (other teammates) back at school we gallantly walked off to find a taxi with a giant pink and white ball on a stick. Our taxi driver started laughing before we got within 15 feet of the car. “I hope you can enjoy the Chinese Specialty” he told us. (After a previous debate with students, we confirmed that Americans started cotton candy in 1897 but we just let it go.)

8:15pm the moon lit up the sky wonderfully with Venus and Jupiter hanging on either side of it. If you read this on Monday, check the sky tonight.

To close I’ll leave you with a picture outside our apartments on campus of the Moon, Venus, and Jupiter.

Mixed Messages

My thought this earlier this week was:

"The first sign of Spring - squishiness"

Today it was:

"The sign that Spring is really here - continued squishiness."

I was pretty happy with my tweet friendly thoughts and thought they were funny. I considered the Supernatural aspect of them. We want to be warmed, to be thawed, we want to not have a hard heart any more - but yet do we want to go through the tender, squishy, tear-filled, soft time in between before we start really growing? My thoughts danced around and I realized this might come back up again later.

After eating with Dan, playing some music and some cards with the guys I get a text from Dan telling me to look outside. It was Changchun's (my city) response to my thoughts on Spring.

"March 23? Spring is definitely not here yet."

Changchun reply's quickly yet directly by dumping a few inches in a matter of hours blanketing the brown and soggy with inches of white fluff.

Oh, how Changchun loves it's winter.

India 3: Visiting the Dead...Almost

BEST INDIA STORY! PLEASE READ

Due to the high rate of volunteer turnover, they ask that you not take any photos unless it's your last day and you've been there for at least a week. We were there 6 days so we didn't get to take any photos inside the homes. I completely understand and gratefully respect that policy too.

Back to Life

When you go into one of these homes, you often feel like you showed up 30 min late for a work day and everyone but you knows what’s going on…even if you’re on time. I felt this way both in the mornings at the mentally disabled home for the men and afternoons for the destitute dying. The first day in Kaligat (home for destitute dying) I wondered around and found myself doing odds and ends and being useful but not really the best I could be.

One picture we snuck on our last day. It was just of the other volunteers washing the pans and cups after dinner. Pants and shirts are done in the same assembly line style.

The second day, I found an older long term volunteer and said, “Hey, here I am. What can I do? How can I help?” His response stuck out to me:

“Well, one guy died yesterday and another guy’s about to die this afternoon, so you can go sit with him until he does.”

My first thought was: “Oh man. This sucks. This dude’s about to die! What do I do?” Then my second thought was: “Wow. Yeah. I would love to do that. What an honor it is to sit with someone as they finish this life.”

I walked in the room and sat down on the stool next to him. I lifted his blanket and took him by the hand, (I have a feeling they don’t get touched much so skin to skin contact would be good) and put my other on his shoulder. I looked him in the eye and just talked to him. I sang a song over him. He didn’t speak English. He didn’t really speak Bengali at the time either but more of just moans.

As I sat there, I realized, I don’t know where this guy is at? He’s about to go into eternity and I’m not sure where He’s at with the Big Man?! So I just started confessing for him. I was pretty sure his mind was still somewhat active so I was going to confess for him and he just had to agree. I repented of things that guys struggle with, of things that humans struggle with, of things I guessed Indians struggled with. I just confessed them and ask for forgiveness for him.

At one point, he looked me in the eye and just shook his head - yes.

I was both excited yet calm and just comforted that I was doing the right thing and he wanted me to keep doing it more. I was just thinking “Man, I know I’m speaking English. I don’t know what language your hearing me in, but I trust that the Sprite is translating and teaching you whatever you need to hear right now.” So I continued to repent. I then asked the Father to restore his mind and heart and organs one by one (apparently he was a drug addict). I asked the Father would restore them and take the toxins out of his body and cells. I asked the Father would restore his family back to him and that he would lead them with love and w.ship of the Father and that he would have a good job to take care of them financially also. I continued to sing the rest of the time and continued just to pr for him. At times he would choke up and I thought Oh no! This is it. He’s dying right now. But I would just take deep breaths and keep Pr and he would breath again and calm back down.

I sat with him for about 2 hours before I had to leave. I motioned to him I was going to go, but I was coming back tomorrow to see him (kind of a “don’t die tonight. You’ve got a reason to live”).

The next day, I came back and went directly to his bed. HE'S STILL ALIVE! I was filled with joy to see him still alive. I talked, sang, and pr with him more that day. I even overheard one Nun say that “he’s not that bad. The man in bed 14 is worse.” I rejoiced! He was supposed to die the day before and now he’s “not that bad.”

The third day in this story (and final day we were there), I went in to see him and he was laying there without morphine! He had no painkiller iv anymore! He was much more alert and responsive. They even sat him up and brought him out to eat with the other patients. He still ate through an IV but the fact that he was able to sit up was ridiculous! The Father straight brought this man back to life again! It was such a gift for G to show me that He still does incredible acts of love and power and I got to see and be part of one. I do believe that he will be well, he will leave the place, he will get a job, be reunited to his family, and he will love them like J does, and be a lifelong follower of the Son.

How cool is our Father to let us see hope arising out of a place where it seems so heavy and so hopeless? He is good and He does extraordinary things. I know it wasn’t the medicine because… they didn’t really have anything but painkillers. A man who was supposed to be dead 2 days before is sitting up with the others as they eat. He is strong and He loves us. He is not a G of second chances but of multiples of chances and extravagance of grace. May He bless you and may we expect only good things from Him from now on.

They said no one knew his name - yet some of the other patients called him Salim. (I dont know if that's like "John Doe" in America or if that was possibly his name.) Either way, I'll refer to him as Salim and He'll know who I'm talking about.

Happy Birthday Jackie Chan!

One thing I love about China is the randomness that can happen. Wednesday afternoon I walk past my assistant dean's office and stop to talk for a few minutes - just checking in on how life is and another foreign teacher shows up "Just the two I needed to see."

A few days later, I'm waiting to be filmed for Jackie Chan's birthday.


Ryan, another independent foreign teacher from England, had a previous student who now works for CCTV. (CCTV is like CNN/FOX/ABC all together. It's THE news network in China. They cover everything and have at least 9 Channels. CCTV1, CCTV2, CCTV3...)

Jackie Chan is very famous in China for his success in acting (and being Chinese) and owns a franchise of movie theaters across China. On his birthday (April 7th), they're going to show a clip of people wishing him happy birthday from all over the world... being foreigners teaching at a Foreign Language School, we're from all over the world. The man above is Roberto from Italy. The girls below are Russian students studying Chinese.


Sometimes I'm not sure how I end up where I am. I feel way to blessed and slightly confused as to what's really going on. I thought it was a "Happy Birthday" but later they told us to encourage his "work with give food to poor children and not kill animals (wildlife preservation)."

Another new teacher Doug came so they put the two Americans together on a couch to encourage him with the poor and helpless (Book Based) and to say the only thing we could say left...

Happy Birthday Jackie Chan!

... when in China...

The Little Things

This morning in Fellowship we were singing. I (with my lack of Chinese) could only sing every 4th or 5th or 8th character that I recognized and mumble through the rest. Apparently it sounded pretty good because after one or two songs the man beside me thought I could read/write/speak Chinese & asked me to write my name and info down in his notebook.

Of course, he wrote it and then asked me in Chinese so I didn't understand what he was saying which kind of proved my Chinese wasn't as good as he thought it was. A student behind me translated it and told me so I wrote down my English and Chinese name. We were both quite tickled and very aware of my Chinese level.

It makes me happy I got those characters right in the song though. :)

India #2: We Just Don't Talk About Him

It was awesome to get to work with so many people. Often times I found myself again out numbered by other languages. Pockets of Japanese, Spanish, Portuguese, Italians, Korean, the occasional Frenchman, and so on surrounded us. I worked with 3 Koreans, a Frenchman, an Aussie, an Italian (give or take some people each day). These guys were good guys to work with.



Many volunteers in total came looking for answers. They were on holiday, had just finished high school, college, taking a year off, or in transition and wanted answers. They didn’t know what was next, they didn’t know the big picture of life, and they came here to find it out.

It’s a great place to come, but my heart is heavy to the fact I’m afraid they won’t find those answers here.

There is an extremely high turnover ratio working at Mother Teresa’s. There's 6 different houses that people can volunteer at. Anywhere from 5-40 people volunteering at each one each day. People volunteer for 1 day or 1 year and everywhere in between. People are constantly coming and going and interacting with each other.



I don’t know a lot about Catholicism and I’m still working out some things. I know the Nuns heavily love and are devoted to J and extraordinarily love Him. As I read Mother Teresa's writings she’s a just a solid woman with a heart for Him and trying to work it out along the way. I fear that others coming though get caught up too much in working for J than knowing Him. I heard more talk about Mary and Mother T than I did J. This really bothered me.

I expected a community of people loving and serving Him, but seemed like a community doing their duty and being good people. Some of them straight up were loving the Father, but I’m afraid many were doing it out of duty, to get points, for social justice, because they should, or different reasons. After talking to the Father one day about it and my frustration of my lack of conversation, He gave me a cool guy named FX from France to talk to the next day. We talked about the problem a little and just got to share other parts of our lives. It opened up and some of the Koreans joined in a little and later in the week a Chinese priest actually joined us but the language barrier was difficult.

FX - my good friend from France was an awesome answer to my frustrations about our lack of conversation. I really enjoyed getting to talk to him and just getting to hang out.

This was my hearts issue – without providing the Name that changes things it seems as if we’re just sustaining a failing effort. Don’t get me wrong, they do awesome work there and are busting their butt to take care of them – but J is the hope that we’re looking for and He’s the one that fixes all of the issues.



I have no doubt the Sprite can work in any circumstance (rocks, donkeys, sunsets, etc) but I would love it if there was more structure about why and what we do. There was mass each morning and “adoration” time in the afternoon. We went to “adoration” time which involved just saying the rosary. In my understanding… well, I’d rather have a conversation or someone teach about J.

I am thankful for the convo’s I got to have. I hope next time I will be a little more bold in starting those. I also hope and Ask that a wildfire of a Love for J name spreads through Mother T’s house and people get crazy about it and are filled with even more joy than before as they go out and serve. It’s hard work, no doubt, and I want J Joy to flood the place and His name to change things!

(I know these two are kind of depressing but the third one is AWESOME! There’s a reason I saved it for last)

India #1: A Different Kind Of Hopeless

There were really 3 chunks that I tell people about when I explain India to people. (This keeps it short for time sake and our attention spans.) So I want to share those 3 chunks with you all in the next few days and maybe a funny story or cultural blunder in between. For background: there were 3 of us who went: Ashley (my teammate), Emily (another teacher with our organization in a different part of China, and myself (Abram).

Chunk 1: A Different Kind of Hopelessness.

Poverty there was bad. Very bad. For the first day and a half I felt bad pointing my camera anywhere because I didn't want to take pictures of people in their worst. Poverty was unlike anything I had ever seen. I journaled one night that if these people were beggars, everyone else I've ever seen was simply a "request maker." An example of this comes the first night we were there, Emily was sick and throwing up and Ashley and I went to find some food. Thankfully, we found some cornflakes and nan (Indian bread stuff). On our way back, we had children (4-9 years old) run up and beg for the food. I dented the box by trying to hold it so they wouldn’t take it. As I held it up, they hung off my arm to get it. I just kept thinking “G, how is this right? How does this happen? We’ve got to fix it.”

That night I understand the parable of the persistent widow even more.
I also understood that I really am the rich young ruler.

The next afternoon we were explained the poverty situation at Mother Teresa’s volunteer registration. “Mafia-style” was one explanation. Some people legitimately need it. A lot of them are either hired or chose this lifestyle. Women will borrow other’s babies so they can beg better. They often want money, food, or milk for their baby and will turn around and sell it back to the store after you leave. Long term volunteers, the Sisters (Nuns) and Indian NGOs all recommended giving to organizations rather than people on the street. Otherwise your actually making the problem worse no matter how much you want to help. We were told the story of a man who was a drunk and now homeless. They (Sisters) bought him a rickshaw (to make money) which he later sold for beer money. They bought him a house/room to sleep in and his response was “Why would I live in there when I can live on the street and volunteers will give me money?” I fear this attitude and view on life is wide spread.

Day 4, I took a walk with my music and camera. I needed a Music/Photo Date with Dad. I walked a different way and as I talked and listened and took photos I felt peace come over me. I smiled and waved at someone and they waved back! They smiled back! And… they didn’t ask for anything! Can you imagine passing people for 4 days who every time you smile at them they hold out their hand?! Literally. Its so heartbreaking when you can’t even smile at people. I got to a different part of the city where poverty wasn’t as bad (apparently they concentrate themselves on high volunteer areas so we were in the worst areas). I felt joy come back into me for the first time in days and not really realizing it had been missing. I stopped and leaned up against a rail and just started to thank the Father for the people, the place, one of His countries, and getting to be there. The first time in 4 days that I could really be thankful with joy. As I looked around for more things to thank him for, I saw this…

It was as if someone pulled the plug out and all my joy slowly drained - like the color being drained out of a picture. There between a motorcycle and a car was a man - curled up with all he had - nothing. It’s just so heavy and I can’t seem to fix anything. There’s just so much “it’s not supposed to be this way.” In this time, the Father showed me what I had been feeling is hopelessness. Not like the depressed hopelessness that I usually think of, but just a lack of hope for the future. This is life. They don’t know to desire anything better. It hurt.

My heart broke and raged with frustration – this is all they know of life! There is better! There is something better! Don’t you want to live a better life than this? … They don’t know a better life is possible. They’re beggars that’s all they know of life is to beg. Then part of me realized, so am I.

India was heavy. Chaotic and in my week that I saw seemed to be lacking hope for the future. But I chose to believe His words when He says He will restore all things to himself. He will bring His kingdom down. Even if it doesn’t look like it and hope seems to be far from it, He promised and He will come.