4 Days to Launch...

I haven't thought much about leaving, I mean, I've had the idea but the practicals of packing, what to take, and being resubmerged into a culture and place where I can't think clearly or function at my normal level hasn't really sunk in. 

As I get to tell the stories of what He's done over the past year, my heart is filled with joy and I am estatic to share these impossible things. I get to be myself, to laugh and make jokes, to think clearly and easily and share openly. As I think of what my last year was like though, much of my unsaid year was not pleasant. It was good, but not pleasant. Spriteual attack is much heavier there and we all suffered lots of issues - some as He pulled out our own sin (thank Him for that) but other stuff was not from Him. Things there were very hard, and I'm not sure I'm ready to go back into that environment. The first year carried this "new adventure" motivation to laugh and go with it, but now that I semi-know what's going on, I'm not sure I'm ready for it again. I don't know how to explain it, but I know that He's good and faithful, and I begin to know what for you to ask for to help with it.

I think part of it is that we have to look at life on the big picture scale but living in China it's hard to see things in big picture scale because you have to live life nearly day to day. Some of that will come with experience but some of it is just China as you never know what to expect, what you'll be called on to do, or what's about to happen. That's fun and exciting to some point, but when you're going through things, it's hard to step back and see the big picture of what is going on and how this is happening when you can't step back enough to see the rest of the week or the month and what it looks like.

He's good. As I was thinking about this this morning, I was lead to the second letter to Corinthians. I started reading and then paused after v7 to think about this stuff and not being ready and was able to get it into thoughts about how things are difficult, but it's a good difficult sort of, yet its hard and I need help for those of you who might not know or understand. I went back to reading to find this:

"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the afflication we experienced in Asia. For we were utterly burneded beyond our strength  that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. HE delivered us from such a deadly peril, and whe will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that the many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many."  - 2 Corinthians 1:8-10

He is good and He will take care of us. I know that. I also know that you will lift us up through these trials. He has been faithful to prove Himself and it's been a huge encouragment and blessing to get to see you all this summer and hear of stories of how you've been lifting up classes and people and teachers and my team. So I come before you asking for a few more specific requests:

-Motivation to continue on. (the stories are great, but daily, it's wearing and often too tiring to go on.)
-Joy to get to be ourselves - clear thinking and clear hearts to be ourselves (or atleast who He's making us to be)
-A greater love for Him and for the Chinese people we go to serve (without love we're just doing chores)
-Getting to think clearly and quickly and humbly - also having not having clouded or fearful hearts
-Our Time with Him - that we would really connect and stay connected
-Our teams unity - for extra grace and love for each other and patience and the blending of our new team that's adding (Team is the biggest blessing in the country - I dont know how others do it independently)
-that we grow with Him... even if that means losing everything else I just asked for (I'd rather it not though, but we want what He wants first)

Thank you all so much for lifting us up and being a part of what He's doing there. We really really really coudln't do this without you all being there with us and fighting these battles with us. Thank you so much. Be blessed and encouraged and Loved, then Ask that He teaches us how to respond accordingly.

Nothing but His,
Abram